What Happens in South Park
by KayTeeBeth
Summary: At the end of seventh grade, the boys broke up. Now it's tenth grade and things are about to change completely once again. Will they make up? Will Stan get back together with Wendy? Will Cartman kill Butters? Only one way to find out! A few het pairings.
1. Prologue

Author's Note: Bored

**Author's Note: **Bored. And can't think of what to write next. So here's my random story. I hate myself for doing it, but it's a future story. slaps face Yes I deserved that. Damn future stories...

**Disclaimer: **My disclaimers are more entertaining than the stories! Wow. Depressing. But I don't own the show. That's the point of these things, to escape any legal liability or something. Not to outshine the stories. bops disclaimer on the nose Bad disclaimer! You should know better!

**What Happens in South Park...**

**Prologue**

_Stan's POV_

It sure as hell wasn't Vegas. It wasn't even Branson, but for that, at least, we could be thankful. It wasn't large and glamorous like L.A., or bustling and exciting like New York. It was simply a small town in the Colorado Rockies that just so happened to be home to a lot of retards.

When I was nine, my friends and I had to deal with a lot of stupid shit brought on by our parents and various other adults in the world, as well as childish misadventures brought upon ourselves. All that was extremely annoying to deal with at such a young age, but worse was yet to come. All that didn't hold a candle to what was to come next.

Adolescence.

As we hit puberty, things really started to get messed up. I was going out with Wendy, but I started to look at other girls. We all grew extremely fast, and became increasingly awkward in our own skin. The teenage years were about to bring to us more misery than what we could have imagined in the fourth grade.

The last year was especially insane. On top of our personal troubles, we had to deal with a few things reminiscent of our problems six years ago.

We had heard great things about high school. T.V. and movies portrayed it as the best years of your life... if you were a popular kid. I was sure I'd be fine as far as that went. But we all thought it would be some magical time that we would remember as the best time of our lives. Right after college, of course.

We had also received fair warnings from our middle school teachers, but we ignored them. Who were we going to listen to, our teachers, or the media? The media was the real authority figure. How in the hell were we supposed to know we were actually supposed to listen to our teachers?

Freshman year was God awful. But that's not when my story takes place. It was the beginning of our sophomore year...

**Author's Note: **OK, I know it's short, but more is to come. I'm working on another story too, so bear with me. R+R please! (And my other one...)


	2. Stan's Morning

**Author's Note: **OK, so it took a long time to figure out how I was going to start this. Well, I still don't know, but winging it has worked before, so here goes! Don't worry, I know what I'm writing about, I just have trouble starting stories off. In fact, my friends make fun of me for it...

**Disclaimer:** South Park by me not owned is. Cryptic disclaimers count too.

**Chapter 1: Stan's Morning**

Fourteen-year-old Stan Marsh groaned as his alarm woke him up. Yawning widely, he hit the snooze button to see how much sleep he could squeeze in before time forced him to get up or else get a tardy on the first day. That was not the ways to start off the school year, especially if your last year was so crap and you want to make things go better. Normally it wasn't so hard for him to get up in the mornings, but he only got to sleep an hour before the alarm obnoxiously blasted at him.

"Get up, turd!" a shrill female voice called from outside his door. And he thought the alarm clock was obnoxious.

Stan's older sister, Shelly, was going into her senior year at South Park High. Her braces and headgear came off two years ago, and she was attractive enough to hold down boyfriends, but she was still a complete bitch to her little brother. It wasn't as bad now, but if Stan got in her way when she had friends over, he would pay for it dearly. She hadn't made things easier for him in his first year of high school, either, and he was sure this year would be no exception. But it was her last year in high school, and hopefully her last year at home. Her grades were good enough to get into a college, hopefully somewhere far away.

When her brother didn't respond to her first wake up call, Shelly banged on the door and shouted louder. "You're going to be late you dumb turd! Get your ass out of bed!"

Stan pulled himself reluctantly out of his warm, inviting bed, and pulled on a worn T-shirt and the first pair of jeans he saw. "Yeah, yeah I'm up already. Damn Shelly, calm down or you'll burst," he called out to his sister as he ran a comb through his raven locks. He grew his hair out over the summer, and it was long and messy. Girls seemed to react well to it though, his sister being the exception.

He still had five minutes to eat breakfast and brush his teeth before he had to be out at the bus stop. Shelly drove to school because she could, and she would also rather die than be seen on the bus with her little brother. Stan was cool with that.

As he gnawed on a piece of toast, he almost instinctively picked up the phone to call his best friend Ky- Well, they weren't best friends anymore, but for the longest time one of them would call the other on the first day of school. He almost did it anyway, just for old times' sake, but decided against it. Things hadn't exactly ended well between them. They had a sort of "falling out" in eighth grade, that sort of finalized things between them.

Stan discarded the crust of his toast, not having time to finished, and rushed out the door, nearly forgetting his belongings. He arrived at the bus stop about ten seconds before it came. He fumbled for a moment, trying to find his bus pass. When Stan presented the pass, the driver simply grunted in approval and closed the door.

The city Transit bus was way different than taking the yellow bus, or "cheese wagon" in elementary. Yes, the bus drivers were always either fat old pricks, or fat dumb bitches, but the similarities ended there. Unless you caught the school special, which South Park didn't even have, you were on a bus with however many other people, all strangers. It was an intimidating thought.

Stan briefly scanned the bus for someone he knew, and immediately spotted three. Butters, Cartman and Craig were all on the bus, though not together. Except for Butters, who was attempting conversation with Cartman, the three were determinedly ignoring each other, avoiding even a sidelong glance at one another. Stan made eye contact with Cartman for a split second, and they both quickly looked away. Butters, however, waved enthusiastically, and Craig invited me to sit next to him. Stan shot him a puzzled look, because somebody was already in the seat next to him, but the high school boy just smiled.

"Beat it, kid!" Craig demanded. The small boy, clearly freshman, scampered quickly to make room for Stan.

"Hey dude," Stan said upon seeing his former classmate. Stan and Craig didn't really talk to each other during elementary, but they became closer friends throughout middle school and last year.

"You excited for this year?" Craig asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Just hoping it's better than last year," Stan replied. He had a feeling he would be asked that question more than once today.

For the duration of the bus ride, the two boys chattered about their summers, who they though was hot, summer flings, and anything else they could think of. Stan was glad that Craig was on the bus.

At the school, they went their separate ways, Craig instantly making a beeline for Tweek, Stan finding his current girlfriend, Sarah.

"Stan, have I told you I LOVE that you grew out your hair?" Sarah gushed upon seeing Stan.

He smiled in response and said "Yes, only all summer." They shared a brief kiss, and Sarah ran her fingers through her boyfriend's hair.

"Mmm, it's so soft!" she exclaimed.

The two had only been together since June, but they had been nearly inseparable since they hooked up. Sarah was blond and petite, but she was strong-willed and was far from a bimbo. She wasn't the brightest bulb in the pack, but her grades were good enough. Stan was really happy with her, but he just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"So Mr. Man, let's go find where we are supposed to be this year," Sarah suggested.

Stan's arm was around Sarah's waist, her tiny frame pressed up against his tall, skinny one. Sarah seemed happy there, and Stan was happy with her there.

Lists were posted in the foyer. Stan and Sarah approached one of them and realized they were for homerooms. They students had received their final schedules the week before, but they didn't say anything about homerooms in the letters they received.

Stan pulled a face when he read one particular name at the top of a list. Mr. H. Garrison was the name that screamed at Stan from the top of the list. It wasn't like the man/woman had followed them through their years of school, but somehow he/she managed to get a job teaching high school. Stan quickly scanned the rest of the list, and wasn't surprised to find his name among the others. So much for a better year.

"Oh, I'm not on here with you," Sarah complained.

"Don't worry, we have classes together," Stan assured her.

"Of course. You are so perfect, you know that right?" she gushed.

Many people were surprised the two wound up together. Stan didn't really go for the clingy, mushy, lovey-dovey type of girlfriend, which was exactly what Sarah was like. His other girlfriends were smart, honors student girls, or athletic girls, or politically involved girls. They were all good girlfriends, but they all ended pretty tragically, Stan somehow fucking it up. He had somewhat of a reputation, but he was too good-looking for something as trivial as that to turn away the girls.

Stan kissed his girlfriend goodbye, promised to sit next to her in their first class together, and was on his way. When he found room 116, he walked in and pulled another face. His third and fourth grade teacher stood at the head of the classroom, and various students from previous years of schooling were seated in the desks that filled the room.

Years ago, he though he would be thrilled to see these people filling these seats, but in light of everything that happened, he wished he was in a room full of strangers. Eric Cartman and Butters were in the room, along with Kenny McCormick, Clyde, Wendy Testaburger and Kyle Broflovski. He wasn't sure whether it was worse that his ex-girlfriend or his ex-best friend was in here, but either way things sucked pretty hard.

He took a seat in a desk as isolated as possible, and kept his head down. The atmosphere in the room was tense as they all resolutely ignored each other and their teacher.

When the bell rang, Garrison turned to address them. "Hello, sophomores! Welcome to your second year of high school!"

**Author's Note: **Ok, so this wasn't all too much better than the prologue. But it WILL get better, I promise you. I know what I'm writing about, I just need to word it and set it up. The good stuff is on its way. And I'm SORRY this crappy thing took so long to get out, but I've been busy, and I have priority with my other story. So just bear with me PELASE!


	3. First Day of School

**Author's Note: **My other two chapters were short, I know, but they will get longer. It's starting off slow, but it will get better. I've said that a million times. Damn I'm hard on myself.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned South Park, would I be writing Fan Fictions? Yeah, probably, just to mess with you all, but I don't own South Park, and I'm writing Fan Fiction anyway. So there.

**Chapter 2: First Day of School**

Bebe Stevens was deep in conversation with her best friend Wendy. Despite all the other falling outs that happened throughout their old class, they still managed to remain friends, for which they were glad.

"Are you serious?" Wendy asked her friend, her tone coated with disbelief.

"Dead serious," Bebe assured Wendy. "Honestly, I don't see how you can't see it. His ass if FINE!"

"Bebe..."

"Oh, lighten up! You're a single woman now. You're _allowed_ to ogle."

Wendy couldn't believe her friend. After the brief crush in third grade, Bebe denied liking Kyle Broflovski at all. But, the blonde was a hopeless slave to her hormones, and was all over Kyle all of a sudden. That wasn't the only reason she was incredulous. Bebe was encouraging to ogle the guy she had a crush on. It didn't make sense to Wendy.

"Whatever. It just doesn't feel right to me."

"Ugh!" Bebe cried in disgust. "You are _sooo _difficult. It's over. It was over before it even started. That was a _long_ time ago, it's time to forget it and move on already." Bebe was really expressive with her voice when she talked, but she only did the word emphasis thing when it was gossip between the girls.

"I know," Wendy sighed. "I just really thought he was the one."

"Look, it started when you were eight. _Eight_. What did you know then?" Bebe was oddly wise. "Ha, well speak of the devil and he shall appear."

"Oh no," Wendy moaned. She knew who it was. "This is going to be a long year."

"Hmm? Yeah, I guess," Bebe responded distractedly. "You know what? Screw it. While you bitch about your love life, I'm going to do something about mine. Oh Kyle!"

Typical. Bebe just up and leaving to talk to some guy. Well, he wasn't just some guy. He was Kyle Broflovski, Stan's ex- best friend. The "ex" part was somewhat her fault, and she couldn't help but feel a little bad. However, she and Kyle always seemed to get along alright. Wendy felt wrong ogling him though. Had things been handled better, she would have inherited him in a sense, as her own new best friend. Maybe Bebe would have had a better chance then. Two sets of besties dating each other. But it usually didn't work like that, and especially not in South Park.

While the girls were discussing him and his ass, Kyle sat quietly, two rows to the left and three seats behind Eric Cartman. His nose was untiringly buried in his math textbook as he ignored the fat ass. Cartman was still fat, but he grew a lot, and although he was still a lard ass, his height evened it out a little.

Kyle didn't have much reason to worry, anyway, because the four of them hadn't really talked at all for a while, and except for the odd comment, Cartman had left Kyle alone. The redhead was still suspicious, however, and remained cautious. He was certain that the only reason the fat ass didn't rip on him was the unspoken agreement not to have anything to do with each other. It was painful for all of them, but they had found other friends.

Kyle jumped when Bebe snuck up on him and took a seat in the desk next to him. "Hey Kyle!"

"Oh, uh, hey Bebe. What's up?"

"Not too much, just typical first day of school stuff. And you? I see you're already getting a start on your math," she chuckled. "You always were incredibly smart."

"Thanks," replied Kyle awkwardly. As he looked around, he saw how full the class was now. It was nearly empty not two minutes ago.

The bell rang, and Bebe returned to her desk next to Wendy. So much for that.

"Good morning sophomores! Welcome to your second year of high school!"

Perfect, just what they needed. A reminder of the old days, Mr. Garrison himself.

"Well, it's just fantastic to see so many familiar faces, and so many new ones. I look forward to getting to know you all!"

"And we were looking forward to getting away from you, but that didn't happen," a blonde boy muttered under his breath.

Kyle almost didn't recognize Kenny. He had long ago ditched the orange parka, much to the delight of the female population, and although girls paid plenty attention to him, he didn't turn into the whore they all thought he would. He was a kind, sensitive guy, who listened to girls' problems and stayed faithful He seemed almost too good to be true, and in a sense he was. He was still poor, and he got bored pretty easily. So even though he cared for a girl, and stayed true to her while they went out, he was usually the one to end it.

That was just how he was around the ladies. With his friends, he made witty comments, and was pretty popular, despite his poverty. He was generally a people person. It was also important for him to work on his grades. He studied pretty hard because he was determined to get a good education, get a stable, well-paid job and pull himself out of the impoverished lifestyle he was currently leading.

Kenny's friends snickered at his comment, and Kyle sighed as he tried to figure out why exactly he, Stan, Kenny and Cartman weren't sitting together, laughing at Garrison themselves. He scanned the room and by the looks of his other ex-friends, he seemed to be the only one who really cared that their group fell apart.

It started in sixth grade, or even as early as fifth. Stan started spending more and more time with Wendy since they got back together. Kyle at least tried to be understanding, and he knew that Stan didn't have to spend all his time with the guys. Cartman didn't really care, and just made fun of him, and Kenny was kind of in between. Eventually, Wendy and Stan were almost always seen together, and the guys hardly ever hung out with him. It went from four to three, and there was major tension. Cartman made fun of Kyle more and more, and even though Kyle fought back, it didn't feel right without Stan to stick up for him. In the end, Kyle got sick of Cartman, and then there were two. Kyle and Kenny had never been too close, but now it was just the two of them. They got along fine, but their friendship didn't last too long. Somehow it just fell apart.

At the end of seventh grade, Stan and Wendy broke up, and Stan, expecting to come back to his former three friends, instead came back to three ex-friends.

"Kyle, dude, what happened?" Stan asked after the breakup.

"I donno, things just sort of, fell apart."

"How could that have happened? We've all always been so close!"

Kyle sighed at his friend. "Things well, they weren't the same without you around."

"So your saying this is my fault?" exclaimed Stan, shocked.

"Well, no, but this probably wouldn't have happened if you haven't ditched us," Kyle explained.

"Oh Jesus! Kyle, I didn't expect this from you! I thought you would understand, you of all people. What happened to super best friends? Or were you just jealous?"

"What are you talking about? I'm the one who forgot about the best friend thing? I wasn't going to say anything, but you weren't exactly the best friend ever, either. You stopped hanging out with us completely!"

Stan shook his head. "I thought you would understand. I guess I thought wrong."

Kyle looked at his friend. "I guess this is the end. Dude, I never thought it would happen."

"Yet here we are."

"Here we are," Kyle agreed. "Bye Stan. Hope you're happy now."

It was like a horrible scene out of a really bad movie. If Kyle ever thought their friendship would end, it wasn't like that.

So the next few years were a mess of girlfriends, replacement friends, appearance changes, idiotic teachers and studying.

Kyle looked around the room, and was surprised at how different everyone looked. He wasn't sure how he missed it, but during the years everyone changed a lot. He looked over at Wendy and Bebe. Kyle wasn't completely clueless, and he was well aware that Bebe liked him, and had for some time. He looked her up and down, and decided that she was kind of cute. The blond curls that were so unruly in the fourth grade had grown out and fell softly around her shoulders, tumbling down her back. She wasn't particularly tall, but she was thin, and her small build looked good in the pale blue tank top she had on. Maybe Kyle would humor her and ask her out later. Who knew? Maybe things would get serious.

Wendy took notice of Kyle's gaze, and shot him a look. Kyle shot a look right back, and turned back to face the front, cheeks flushed a little.

"Bebe, Kyle was totally just checking you out," Wendy hissed to her friend.

"Really? Sweet, I'm taking that as a good sign."

"Bebe, you took it as a good sign when he bought those green tennis shoes last year," Wendy sighed.

Bebe rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and I told you that's because I bought the same ones in the girls style the week before. It was a sign."

"Whatever."

* * *

"Kenny!"

Kenny McCormick ignored his friend as he walked down the hall towards his first period class.

"Kenny! Can't you hear me?"

Geoff had been Kenny's friend since the whole group breakup thing. Kenny didn't really like Geoff, but he hung around with him anyway.

"Kenny!"

"Oh, hey dude, sorry."

Geoff looked extremely excited. "Oh my fucking God, we are sophomores now! We aren't bottom of the barrel anymore! This is so fucking exciting."

Kenny really didn't know why he hung around with this loser. Geoff was in the other fourth grade class and, unbeknownst to Kenny, had always wanted to hang around with him. Kenny was convinced Geoff was gay and had a crush on him, but he wouldn't allow it.

"Yeah, we're not the bottom anymore, but we aren't the top either." Kenny considered adding not to wet himself with excitement, and that he was a stupid retard, but he controlled himself. Kenny had other friends, but they avoided him while Geoff was around. Unfortunately, he couldn't be shaken.

"Geoff, we don't have math together."

"I know!"

"I have math now."

"I know!"

Kenny shuddered slightly. "OK, well I gotta go now, to class, and, yeah..."

"Bye! See you at lunch."

Kenny walked away faster than his normal pace, and was glad to be rid of him. He caught up with his other friends, and they walked into math together.

"Damn Geoff, I can't get rid of the asshole. He's so annoying, and he swears unnecessarily. And, I've even told him this, and he STILL clings. I can't take it anymore!" Kenny vented.

"Calm down," Peter laughed. "You might give yourself a stroke or something on the first day."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Math went by pretty fast, and Kenny tried his best to follow along. It didn't work so well, but he got the notes down, even if he didn't understand them. Kenny made his way through the first day, unable to believe how much homework he had already. The teachers weren't screwing around.

Last block of the day was chemistry. They were assigned lab partners to sit with a two person tables. Kenny's partner hadn't showed up yet, but he secretly hoped it would be a hot girl. He didn't turn out a whore, but he was still a little perverted.

Just then, Kyle walked into the room. The redhead looked around and made a face. Kyle took a seat in the chair next to Kenny.

It was awkward and tense, and neither one of them really wanted to break the silence. It wasn't like they didn't like each other anymore, but it was always strange coming across an ex-friend.

Kenny was just about to say hi when the teacher walked into the room.

"Hello class, my name is Mr. Harris. Welcome to chemistry. Now, I'm going to tell you all right now, this isn't going to be an easy class. I'm going to try and make it as fun as possible for you, but that doesn't make it any less challenging."

Kenny sighed. All the teachers said something like that all day. He was not looking forward to this year, despite everything Geoff said.

Kenny chanced a glance at his ex-friend. He smiled to himself as he remembered him in the fourth grade. He also remembered when they all ditched their hats and, in Kenny's case, parkas.

"Is it really that bad?"

"You'd have to be a fucking retard to walk around like that in public."

Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and even Stan were at Kyle's house in January during the sixth grade.

"Oh, shut up fat ass."

"He's kind of right," Stan agreed.

Kyle's curly red hair was in a permanent Jew-fro, and it was far from attractive.

"Can't you like, comb it out or something?" Kenny suggested.

Kyle shook his head. "I could try, but it would be a lot of work, and probably wouldn't last very long."

"Well, you've gotta figure something out. You can't just wear your hat all the time," Stan said.

"Yeah, we can't be seen with a loser who still wears his hat," Cartman added.

"God damn it. I suppose if I cut it really short it might work."

None of them realized at the time how gay they sounded talking about their hair.

Kyle wound up getting an appointment for a haircut, and had it cut really short. He kept up the short hairstyle until one if his girlfriends, Katie, convinced him to grow it out. She helped him keep it in line, and managed to keep it out of the fro state.

"There, that's much better," Katie gushed.

She had bought him special shampoo, and got him to start conditioning.

"Kate, don't you think this is a little gay?" Kyle questioned one day.

"It's not gay to care about your appearance, Kyle," she scolded. "Besides, gays don't get _girl_friends."

Kyle wasn't convinced, and her speech sounded disturbingly familiar, but he shook it off.

Even after they broke up, Kyle continued the lather-rinse-repeat routine, but only because it was better than the Jew-fro, and going for constant haircuts was a pain in his ass and his wallet.

The final bell rang, and while the class was filing out of the room, Kenny stopped Kyle so he could talk to him.

"Hey dude, it's been a while."

Kyle smiled awkwardly, a little surprised that Kenny was talking to him. "Yeah, hey. So, uh, how've you been?" It was a little awkward talking again, but things didn't end too horribly between them, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"Alright, I suppose."

There was a brief silence before Kyle continued. "So, I suppose we're lab partners for the term."

"Uh, yeah," Kenny replied. This wasn't going as well as he would have hoped.

Kyle considered just walking away, when Kenny spoke again. "So, this is going to sound beyond lame and gay, and I know it's been a long time, but I don't like this."

"Don't like what?" Kyle asked, confused. "Being lab partners?"

"No, I don't like this separation thing," Kenny said.

"Yeah, that dies sound pretty lame," Kyle agreed. "But I feel the same way. The truth is, though, that a reunion is not going to happen."

"I know," Kenny sighed. Between the two of them, things could be patched up, but Kenny remembered his own confrontation with Stan after his breakup with Wendy.

"Kenny, what has the world come to?" Stan asked when he went over to Kenny's house.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Well, I always thought it would be the four of us for always," Stan explained.

"Huh," Kenny grunted in response.

"And if not the four of us, then at least Kyle and I."

"Huh," was Kenny's response again, this time a little more bitter.

"You know, I was just over at his place. He said the group is over, and he practically blamed the whole thing on me!" Stan explained.

Kenny raised an eyebrow. "He's kind of right you know. And you have a lot of nerve coming over here and expecting friendship from me. I mean, yeah, you were nice enough to me for a while, but you became a total ass. And none of you ever really cared about me."

Stan looked at Kenny in shock. "I can't believe you! Either of you!"

Kenny sighed. He never thought of Stan as superficial, but he was being a totally self-involved ass.

"Dude, get out," Kenny demanded. "I don't really wanna deal with any of you."

From there, a huge argument ensued, and things were absolutely destroyed between the two of them.

"So, yeah, that really sucks," said Kenny. "But, well, you know... As long as we're lab partners, do you think we could start hanging out again? Sometimes my new friends get too annoying for their own good."

"Hmm, we'll see," Kyle answered.

"Kenny!" Peter called. "Why you talking to the Jewish kid? Let's go catch a movie or something."

"I can see what you mean about annoying," Kyle commented wryly. He was used to crap about his religion, but he resented being called "the Jewish kid".

"Sorry about that," Kenny apologized. "See ya tomorrow I guess."

"Yeah."

Kenny smiled. Just the thought of there being any hope of getting the group back together was exciting. Talking to Kyle was a start at least. After two and a half years of not talking, making contact was awkward, but nice. Stan and Cartman would be a different story, however.

**Author's Note: **Yeah, a little redundant. Getting back together and the breakup are mentioned a lot, but it'll quiet down. Yay, this chapter was longer! And sorry about the uninspired chapter titles.


	4. Friday Night

**Author's Note: **OK, I REALLY don't care whether or not this is right, but these are the ages and birthdays of a few of the characters in MY story. OK? On the show, it can be different. In your stories, it can be different. But in THIS PARTICULAR story, these are the birthdays.

**Cartman: **June 26 _turns 16 at the end_

**Kenny:** August 12 _15 for whole story_

**Kyle: **October 7 _turns 15 during story_

**Stan: **October 19 (Same as Trey Parker's) _turns 15 during story_

**Disclaimer: **Do YOU think I own South Park? If you said "yes", you are dead WRONG! Dumbass.

**Chapter 3: Friday Night **

"Stan? Honey, what's wrong?"

Stan and Sarah, or "S2" as Sarah called them, were seated on the couch in the Marsh residence, watching a sappy movie. Sarah was resting her head in Stan's lap, lapping up every sappy, corny line the heroine gushed, or pseudo-manly line the hero uttered, and Stan was stroking Sarah's hair absent-mindedly, hardly paying attention to the piece of crap polluting his TV. It was a peaceful Friday night, and Stan's mind was far from the situation at hand. Rather, it was with the hefty pile of homework assigned to him during the first week of school. Sarah had taken notice of her boyfriend's inattentiveness.

"Nothing's wrong." Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Stan wasn't about to tell Sarah the truth, mostly because if she knew something was wrong, she would go off being all concerned about him. Stan liked that she cared, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

The other reason was the chance it could jeopardize their relationship. Stan liked Sarah, but he was fairly certain she wouldn't like what was on his mind.

"That is _so_ sweet!" Sarah cooed at the screen. "Oh, Stan, that was a _fantastic _movie! I loved when Virginia told Cody that she had a son, and he told her that he would be the father he never had. OH! And the part at the end where Lila confronted James and told him that she loved him so much it hurt, but if being with Sally made him happy, then she would be happy too, and she wanted him to be happy, but he said that he didn't want Sally, and just swooped up Lila and _kissed_ her!"

Stan smiled at Sarah as she ran the whole movie into one sentence. She was so sweet, she made all the unholy thoughts infesting his brain escape his head in one swift _WHOOSH_. He forgot why he was even spaced out and uncomfortable in the first place. He scooped up his girlfriend, like in the movie, and planted a kiss right on her lips. He was sort of paying attention.

"I had a great time tonight, honey, but I gotta go now," Sarah announced when they broke apart. "But I'll call you _as soon_ as I get home, OK?"

"OK. Bye Sarah!"

"Bye Stanny!"

Stan sighed as he watched Sarah leave. "What did I ever see in anyone else but her?"

Which was exactly the same thing he asked himself a shortly before destroying all his other relationships.

* * *

Eric Cartman was about to kill Butters. He had considered it many times before, and he was starting to wonder how the little pussy hadn't gotten himself killed yet.

"Butters, I swear to God, you touch that, and I will pull your nuts off with my bear hands and put them up on my shelf as a trophy!"

How the hell did he get stuck with Butters anyway?

Well, that one was easy. After Kyle finally lost it and kicked Cartman out of the group, he naturally went to Butters to find with him what he had with Kyle. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work, and he couldn't shake the little blonde. So he was stuck dealing with the little pussy, and incapable of finding new friends because of him.

No, how he got stuck with Butters was an easy question. The challenge question was why hadn't Butters been killed yet. It was something Cartman wondered everyday.

"Well, gee Eric, what's the point of having me over to your house if I can't do anything?" Butters asked naively.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Butters, I'm not having you over, you followed me home."

Butters smiled sheepishly. "Well, c-can we do something?"

"Fine.".

Even though Cartman couldn't manage to get any other _friends_ with Butters around, he did manage a few girlfriends. Yes, even Cartman had relationships.

One recurring relationship was him and Heidi. It was one of those annoying high school on-again-off-again relationships. They were sort of meant to be, in a mixed up way, but they could never stay together. It was ultimately cliché, but Cartman wouldn't have it any other way.

Most of his other relationships had been one or two dates, and then getting back together with Heidi. There were a couple of longer lasting girlfriends, but those were few.

"W-well what are we gonna do Eric?" Butters asked.

"I'm gonna play Xbox, and you're gonna watch," Cartman asserted. "OK? Sound good to you? Is that doing something? I thought so."

Butters looked at his friend for a moment. "OK!" he agreed cheerily. "I'll cheer you on. Go Eric!"

"I'm going to kill you Butters," Cartman muttered under his breath. Butters was one of the few people who called him Eric. Mostly adults called him by his first name, and the only peers he knew who used it were Butters and sometimes Heidi.

"What was that Eric?"

"I said thank you for your support, Butters."

"O-oh."

"Dumbass," he grumbled.

* * *

"Dude, when did you get good at Guitar Hero?"

"Pete has it and whenever we get together, that's all we do. Nobody else will play with him, so I learned by doing."

Kenny and Kyle were at the Broflovski residence. During the week, they talked a little more during chem., and agreed to get together on Friday, for old time's sake.

Kyle got the Guitar Hero game after the whole incident in fourth grade. Stan gave up the game completely and gave it to Kyle. He hadn't really touched it since then either, but they dug it up for something to do. Kyle was still pretty good at it, but he had no idea how good Kenny was. It was a surprise, and just went to show how much had changed in the years that had passed.

"You know," Kyle explained, "this doesn't mean we're friends again. Things aren't just going to magically fall back in place."

Kenny surveyed Kyle. He was hoping otherwise, but he supposed the redhead was right. "I know."

"Maybe we can be friends again, just the two of us, eventually. But that will be hard. You know, other friends and all."

Kenny nodded, but changed the subject swiftly. "Bet you can't beat me in a guitar battle."

"Oh yeah?" Kyle taunted. "I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"You're on!"

Kyle did beat Kenny at the guitar battle, but it was close. "Dude, how the hell did you get through that one part? I thought I totally had you beat there!" Kenny exclaimed. He was impressed. Even when he was rusty, Kyle was pretty damn good at this.

"Well, I'm great, what can I say? I am GOD!" Kyle declared dramatically.

Kenny laughed. "Nice ego. As the hair deflates, the ego inflates. Fantastic. If you're gonna be an ass, get the Jew-fro back. I think I liked the fro Kyle without the ego a little better."

Kyle laughed back. "Maybe. That thing was damn SEXY! I would be a total hit with the chicks if I got that thing back. Shit, Katie would have a heart attack."

Kenny remembered Katie. He actually dated her after the breakup with Kyle. She knew Kenny was a good rebound guy, and she also knew the two had been friends. She had been convinced she loved Kyle, and after all she did for him, he had no right to break up with her. Kenny always thought she was hot, but she was a little clingy. It wasn't long before Katie broke up with Kenny, and became friends with Kyle. The two became pretty tight.

"I can't believe you still hang out with her," Kenny commented. "She dating anyone?"

Kyle frowned. "No. And she refuses to. But as soon as I start dating, she practically pays people to go out with her. Soon as I'm done with someone, so is she, and she asks for her money back."

Kenny laughed. "But of course."

Kyle said nothing for a moment. With a completely straight face he said "If I win this next song, you have to get out, you poor piece of shit. Back to whatever shithole you call home."

Kenny raised an eyebrow. "OK, and if I win, we're best friends again. And I don't quite live in a shithole; it's more of a hovel."

Kyle nodded solemnly. "Winning back friendship, you are a tricky one McCormick. You're on. But if I win, you have to worship at my feet. I am God." It was all an act, but it was fun.

"OK, and if I win, we have to set aside at least two days a week for just us, _best friend_," Kenny countered.

"Hmm, you're getting a little more in that deal. If I win, you also have to come back every Friday and worship at my feet, regardless of who's over."

Kenny considered it. "You have yourself a deal." And they shook.

It was slightly ironic. This was the game that had torn apart Stan and Kyle's friendship, albeit briefly. It was also the thing to rekindle Kenny and Kyle's friendship. How brief would this be?"

* * *

It was girl's night at Wendy's house. Wendy and Bebe had other girlfriends, but they decided to keep it exclusive. Tonight, they were discussing very personal, complex and sensitive issues: Stan and Kyle.

"Bebe shut the fuck up about Kyle for one second!" Wendy sighed. "I honestly don't see why you don't just do something about it! Take a chance already. You talked to him a bit on the first day, but you have three classes with him, as you've reminded me frequently, so why don't you talk to him in one of those classes? You sit next to him."

"Yeah, but _he has a girlfriend_," Bebe reasoned. "You know that girl Katie? Total skank, but she is pretty hot. Ugh, I don't see what he _sees_ in her."

Wendy sighed. "Bebe. He is not, repeat, NOT going out with Katie. They're just friends."

Bebe raised an eyebrow. "It's always 'just friends', but they never mean it. At least one party wants to get together with the other one. Oh, I bet it's that _bitch_. Katie is _such_ a hussy."

"Bebe, shut up. I think... well, Stan, I-"

"Oh, Wendy," Bebe sympathized.

"Yeah, I have no idea what to do, or if I even actually still like him. They might just be ghost emotions or something," Wendy whined, distraught. "I donno, it's just so complicated. I am a woman of logic, so I shouldn't be feeling this. It isn't fair."

Bebe smiled gently. "Look, Wendy, I'm lucky. I know I want Kyle. But it isn't always that simple. Sometimes desires and feelings get mixed up and you never really know what you want."

"Thanks Bebe-"

"And even if you know what you want, you can't always get to it," Bebe rambled.

Wendy rolled her eyes. She loved her friend, but she could be so unreasonable sometimes. It wasn't like she didn't try, but even when she did, Bebe always wound up focusing on herself and her own problems. Wendy knew that the only way she could get Bebe to help would be to help her get what she wanted. But even then, Bebe would be so caught up in her relationship, Wendy's problem would come across as whining. Wendy used what she got though. Sometimes Bebe would inadvertently spout random bouts of intense wisdom. Other times it would just be nonsense.

"He's right there, just out of your reach. He doesn't have a girlfriend, but he has a friend-girl who obviously wants him. He's all you ever wanted, and he's _so close..._ But some _bitch_ is in your way!" Bebe continued.

"Um, Bebe?"

"It drives you mad until finally you're left with no choice..."

"Bebe?"

"You find that the only option is... _to kill Katie_!" Bebe laughed maniacally. "Yes! That's the perfect plan. It gets rid of her, I'll never have to worry about her again!" Bebe got a little out of control when it came to Kyle. She was a little obsessed. She had convinced herself so long ago that she was over him, but she never was. Now it was all rushing out at once.

"Er, let's do something," Wendy suggested quickly. "We can watch a movie or something."

"OK, sounds good!" Bebe agreed, instantly forgetting about her plans for murder.

Wendy made a mental note to keep the exclusive girl nights to a minimum. Bebe was a lot to take in at once.


	5. Break Ups, Make Ups and Break Downs

**Author's Note:** Let's do some math! Reading+ Reviews inspiration. Inspiration+ Ideas Story. So Read and Review if you want to find out just exactly WHAT happens in South Park.

**Disclaimer: **I COULD own South Park. Well, actually, I couldn't, and I don't.

**Break Ups, Make Ups, and Break Downs**

Eric Cartman sat in the English Lit classroom Monday morning, Butters to his right, Heidi to his left. He wasn't taking in a word that was being said. Butters, on the other hand, seemed to be getting it. Cartman would just copy Butters' notes later or something. He chanced a glance to his left.

There sat Heidi, their relationship currently in an "off-again" status. She looked a little uncomfortable, and as spaced out as Cartman was. She brought the pen she was fiddling with to her mouth and nibbled it. Cartman smiled slightly at her nervous habit. He sometimes wondered about the two of them. Why did they keep breaking up? It wasn't one person's fault in particular, they alternated with that. No, the constant was the makeup.

The pen fell from Heidi's hand and rolled towards Cartman. He bent down and retrieved it. Handing it off like a baton in a relay, he muttered "Here ya go, skank," but it was half-hearted.

Heidi smiled, though a small, meek smile, and scribbled something in her notebook. She ripped out the page, folded it up into a tiny square, and waved it at Cartman. He gave her a quizzical look and took the paper.

_Thanks, asshole_ was scrawled in small letters, in Heidi's familiar print at the top of the page. The note continued a little farther down in larger print. _We need to talk._

_Talk?_ Cartman scribbled back. _About what? I though we were never speaking again. I though we had a vow of silence_.He handed the note back to Heidi when the teacher's back was turned.

She took it, unfolded it, and scanned it. Heidi's eyes rested for a split second on Cartman, then immediately returned to the paper. She frowned at it, but jotted down a response. After refolding it, she passed it across the aisle. _About us. I really don't like that we haven't been talking. Maybe something more will happen, I can't say. Even if it doesn't, we should at least start talking again. Unfriendly conversation is better than no conversation at all._

The truth was, Cartman did like Heidi. He liked the talking idea. The only problem was, he couldn't just come right out and admit it. He had to play it smooth. _Why the sudden change of heart? You just couldn't stay away? Last time we talked, you seemed pretty serious about this, and you haven't so much as looked at me since then._

When Heidi got the note back, she exhaled as she read it. Cartman couldn't really read her expression. She almost looked as though she was trying to decide if she believed Cartman's words . She also looked a little relieved, which Cartman found odd. Next thing he knew, a square of paper was being pressed into his chubby hand. _It was summer. Well, as close to summer as we get, but you know what I mean. And people change their minds. All the time._

_Well, I guess you have a point_ Cartman replied simply. He wouldn't agree to anything he seemed overly eager for. He had a reputation to uphold.

Unfortunately for him, Heidi could be just as stubborn, and he had slipped up around her before. So naturally, Cartman was a little disappointed in her answer. _Damn straight I do._

What did he say to that? They were totally off topic. It was just like Heidi to start something Cartman had no interest in, then turn it so he had to finish it. She would start it, stop it, and refuse to continue until Cartman did. He always did, too. Somehow she managed to get him subtly on track without him knowing it. Unfortunately, class was nearing its end, so their game couldn't be overly elaborate.

_So does this count as talking again? Doesn't seem like much of a conversation._ It was on track with both parts on the note in a way. It was hard to say who to give the credit to.

Heidi was very forward with her answer. _No. If we're to start talking again, it has to be face to face and a real conversation._

Cartman couldn't argue with that, and he could argue with lots. _OK, name a time and a place._

A smile played on Heidi's lips. _Today. After school. West Side Arcade. If you're not there by 4:00 sharp, I'll twist your balls off._

Cartman glanced at her and she gave him a meaningful look. He nodded and stuffed the note in his back pocket.

Although the dumper alternated, the peacemaker remained constant. They weren't necessarily back together, but it was a reconciliation of sorts. Heidi was always the one to take action and initiate the makeup. No matter how much Cartman wanted to, it would never be him. Damn his pride. His stupid fucking pride was the only thing to stop him. He would be at the West Side Arcade. As long as Heidi did all the "nice" stuff, his pride would allow it.

* * *

Stan was seated on a bench outside the school. People walked out of the doors of South Park high, happily embracing one another, glad to have survived another day. Nobody paid much attention to Stan on the bench. The day had been something of a messy one for him He got detention, spilled his coke, and split up with his girlfriend all in one day. He wasn't going home just yet. He would sit outside the school and mull things over.

The breakup with Sarah wasn't a clean cut. Stan wasn't really proud of the way he acted. He didn't take it well. It was lunchtime, and the two were seated side by side. Sarah sensed a bit of tension from Stan and questioned him about it. "Stan sweetie, what's wrong?"

Stan considered Sarah for a moment before responding. "I'm fine. Just, stupid Pruden gave me detention today."

Sarah nodded and smiled in understanding. "Yeah, he's a prick." But her smile faltered. "No, there's something else isn't there? What's going on?" Concern glittered in her eyes.

Stan really cared for him. This relationship could actually go somewhere... Except for Stan's tactless reaction. "Can you lay off? I told you I was fine, so mind your own business." His voice was cold as he told her off.

Raising her eyebrows, Sarah looked Stan up and down. "Sorry I asked."

"Yeah, well, you should be." What was he doing? Stan adored Sarah. He loved her concern, her sweetness, and everything else about her.

"I should be?" Sarah scoffed, eyebrows still raised. "What are you trying to pull? Cause it's not funny. When did you become such an asshole?"

"When did everything in my life become your business?" Stan shot back. "Can't I do anything without you riding my ass?" He was almost yelling at this point.

"Stan!" Sarah hissed. "Can you calm down? You're making a scene! It's not that big a deal, we can talk later."

Stan stood up and put his arms out. "Oh? I'm making a scene? Well, I'm so sorry." Stan raised his voice. "Is this better?" Do you want to talk about this a little more privately? What the fuck do we have to talk about anyway? Is there something wrong with our relationship?"

"Well, I thought we were fine, but you're giving us plenty of discussion topics!" Sarah was shouting too.

"So now it's my fault?" Stan couldn't stop. This was at the same time uncharacteristic and typical of him. Normally, he didn't flip out like small things like this, but he had done if before. "Look, Sarah, let's talk now. No need to put it off, we're already worked up. We don't have to do it twice. So let's talk. Why are you so concerned, anyway? You hiding something? Sleep with someone?"

"Stan what the hell? I'm fourteen, almost fifteen. So are you? Who the hell would I sleep with? Ugh, you know what? Forget it. I'm out. I thought you were different, but obviously not. Goodbye Stan." So Sarah dumped him. But he wouldn't leave it at that.

"Fine! Go! But you'll be back. And you won't have anything to come back to. You had your chance with me. Now it's done. Leave!"

"What? No, bye," Sarah turned on her heel and stormed out of the cafeteria. Stan shouted obscenities after her, and continued to make an ass of himself.

So the whole school knew about his breakup, and they were all avoiding him. Stan sat on the bench, eyes shut and pinching his nose. Usually this was in exasperation at the stupidity of adults, like his father. As he replayed the scene in his mind's eye, he felt about ready to kick himself in the nuts.

Stan scanned the scene in front of his eyes. The after school crowds were dying down and only a few pockets of people were still left. One person in particular caught Stan's eye, though. A blonde was bounding in his direction, curls bouncing as she made her way towards the bench the raven haired sophomore was sitting on. As she got closer, Stan realized who she was. Beaming, Bebe plopped down next to him.

"Hello Stan!" she greeted cheerily. Bebe was and still remained Wendy's best friend. The two never really talked much. She had always been there, but they didn't really pay too much attention to each other. Stan couldn't help but wonder if Bebe still liked Kyle. Although the two hadn't talked for the longest time, but it was a subconscious thought. Stan looked Bebe up and down, and his eyes rested for a second on her chest before he looked away. It was hard to believe that six years ago, because of _those_, every boy in the class was vying for her attention.

"Hey Bebe," he replied, considerably less cheerfully. "How's every little thing?"

She shrugged, still smiling. "Well, I currently don't have a boyfriend, my grandfather had a heart attack before the beginning of school, and my favorite jeans fell apart the other day. On the plus side, I'm working on my single status, my grandfather is fine, and I bought a new pair of Apple Bottoms, so it's all good. And you? Bummer about that whole Sarah thing. You two were _so_ cute together. Ah, but you'll be fine. She wasn't the first girlfriend you've had. You'll get another one." All of this came out at superspeed. Stan just barely caught it all.

"Um, thanks? I'm doing fine I guess." Stan paused. "How's, uh, Wendy?"

Bebe raised her eyebrows. "She's good. Top of her game in every class, of course. She doesn't have a boyfriends either, only she's not doing anything about it. She keeps whining about something or other. Well, you mostly."

Stan frowned slightly. Him? "Me? Wendy whines about me? That doesn't really make sense."

"I know, I don't understand it either. I mean, she _said_ she was over you, and didn't mention anything for the longest time, but all of a sudden it was all 'Stan this, Stan that.' Honestly, I thought I was bad, but at least I'm making an effort. All she does is bitch and bitch. Unless she _has_ done something without telling me. Has Wendy come and talked to you yet?" Bebe rambled. Stan didn't remember Bebe talking this much. Even though they didn't that often, whenever they did strike up conversation they generally got in an equal amount. Now, Stan suspected she could and would out-talk anyone who cared to say a simple "Hello," to her.

"Um, no she hasn't," Stan replied.

"Hmm, that's strange. She really should. Or you should talk to her. Do you still like Wendy? God, she's such a chicken. I think she's always liked you, just realized it now. You two were I think made for each other. Maybe she just has too much pride. Damn pride, gets in the way of everything," Bebe continued.

"I donno actually. I think I still like Wendy, but it's so hard to tell," Stan responded, deciding to answer Bebe's first question.

"Oh God, I know that feeling. You know, the 'hard to tell' one." Before she had a chance to elaborate, Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" came from Bebe's purse. She reached in, pulled out her cell phone and flipped it open. "Hello? Was your nose burning or something?" Pause as the person on the other end spoke. "Nose, ears, same thing." Pause. "No reason! Anyway, what's up?" Bebe's voice was even higher, and she was obviously talking to one of her girlfriends, and Stan guessed which one. "No way! Oh my God! OK, don't panic, I'll be right over. Hey! You'll _never_ guess who I'm talking to right now." Bebe rolled her eyes at other end's response. "No. Of _course_ not, are you _crazy_? Well, what ever, I'll tell you later. See ya in a few minutes. Bye!" She hung up and stuffed her phone back in her bag. "Sorry Stan, gotta run. We should do this again sometime." She got up and bounded off, waving goodbye.

"Do what again?" Stan wondered aloud. "Get talked at?" girls were way too damn confusing.

* * *

Kyle bit his lip as the three sat in an awkward silence. He looked from Kenny to Katie and sighed. The scene was kind of like the setup for a bad joke. "A poor blonde, a Jewish redhead and a female brunette sit in a room together in silence..." They were supposed to be hanging out and having fun as a group. Kyle had spent the day before playing video games and watching movies with Ben, Johnny and George, and they had a good time. He invited the guys to come over and hang today, but they didn't really want to while Katie and Kenny were around. So now here they were, nothing to do and nothing to day.

Kyle couldn't remember the last time he actually hung out with Katie and did something. She was gone all summer, but they texted. Usually they hung out at school, and occasionally caught a movie together after they stopped dating. The whole Kenny thing was still a little uncomfortable. It had been so long, and they were working out the kinks. Hanging out with Katie and Kenny together though was just so... well, strange. Obviously this wasn't working. So what was he supposed to do? Just kick one of them out? Which one would he kick out if it came to that. True, he hadn't seen Katie for a while, but he needed to work on the Kenny relationship. He wouldn't kick one out. He was too nice for that.

"Do you guys wanna play Guitar Hero?" Kyle suggested lamely. They had to do something, and that was the first thing he could think of.

"Dude," Kenny said, one eyebrow raised. "Is that the best you can do? Seriously, as teenagers, are we that uninventive that the only thing we can think of to do is the same thing we did on our first 'date'? Honestly, you could have at least suggested a movie. I mean, it's just as lame, but at least there are different movies. Honestly, it's Saturday night! Let's have a party!"

At the word "date", Katie looked a little uncomfortable, but she just rolled her eyes when Kenny finished. Kyle said nothing about another ex-boyfriend being here tonight. "I'm up for Guitar Hero. Only I'm not so good at it. Maybe you could... help me. Ya know, give me some lessons?"

Kyle looked to Kenny for approval, giving him an apologetic look. Kenny shrugged. "Fine, whatever. But next time we gotta do something good. Seriously."

They took turns using the two guitars. Katie kept inching closer and closer to Kyle, and was constantly asking for advice. Kyle thought she was crazy. What kind of advice was he supposed to give? It was freaking Guitar Hero! He was patient with her nonetheless.

"Ugh, it's that one part I can't get. How in the hell do you play this on Expert?" Katie sighed.

Kenny just rolled his eyes. After playing the game for three and a half hours, it was getting a little old. Especially when half the time Kenny had to watch Katie ruthlessly flirt with Kyle, complaining about her lack of skill. Kyle just sat there and took it. Kenny wasn't sure if he was clueless, or was just so used to it that he learned to put up with it. Either way, Kenny couldn't take it anymore and had to get out.

"Well man, I better get home. My parents might wonder where I am," Kenny announced as he rose from the couch.

Kyle looked at Kenny in disbelief. "Did your parents give up the alcohol and suddenly become caring parents at some point over the years?"

Kenny laughed dryly. "Nah, you caught me. They probably haven't noticed. But I think I'll go anyway. I'll call ya tomorrow or something."

"OK, bye!"

Kenny left and Katie beamed. "Good riddance, I say. Now we have the house to ourselves."

"Well, Ike is home," Kyle corrected.

Katie rolled her eyes. There seemed to be a lot of eye rolling tonight. "Whatever. The point is, your parents are out, and that blonde kid is gone."

Kyle was just glad she called him "that blonde kid" and not "that poor kid". "Yeah, but my parents will be home soon."

"Kyle, sh, you're spoiling a perfectly good evening," Katie scolded exasperatedly. Kyle could be so slow sometimes! Here she was, offering herself, plain as day, and he continued to ignore her. Didn't he get it? She was hot, she loved him, so why wasn't he responding?

Kyle knew Katie was into him, and he was determinedly ignoring her. Something about the way she was looking at him though... He knew he had to end this. He wasn't interested in her. They could be friends, sure, but they had already gone out, and Kyle wasn't about to go for that again.

"Katie, I need to tell you something," Kyle began.

Her eyes brightened. "Yes?"

"I don't think you're going to like this," he warned, and Katie's face fell. "Look, I know you still like me. You could see it from space. But, you see, we've done this before, and it didn't work out. I'm not interested, Katie. I'm perfectly OK with being friends, but you're making this difficult. So enough is enough. Either we're friends, or we don't hang out at all."

Katie's face darkened. "Kyle, don't flatter yourself!" She was going to fake her way out of this. It hurt, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "I don't still like you. I thought we could be friends, but obviously your big ego won't allow it. You won't admit that you like me, so you're turning this on me! I can't believe you. Maybe if you can admit that you like me, we can stay friends, or even go out again. But get your head out of your ass."

Kyle couldn't believe his ears. What the hell was she playing at? "Kate, you're describing your own feelings. I'm not retarded. In fact, I'm one of, if not the smartest kid in tenth grade. So I can see what you're doing."

"What are you, a psychiatrist? Seriously, Kyle, get over yourself!" Katie was shouting now. "Just say it, so we can go on like normal!"

Kyle couldn't help but think back to the shouting match in the cafeteria a few days before. It was another one of Stan's typical breakups. How was he supposed to know he would be nearly reenacting the scene in his own living room. Well, not quite reenacting, but close enough. "Katie, please, calm down." His own voice was calm and composed, which seemed to infuriate Katie further.

"Fine! You have too much pride? Well that's fine! Kyle, consider yourself and ex-friend until further notice. I might be able to forgive you, but it won't be easy!" she declared dramatically.

"Forgive me? For what?" Kyle asked.

"That! You see! Your cluelessness, your ego, your self absorption! Maybe if you apologize now, you'll have a better chance!" she practically screamed.

Kyle shook his head. "Sorry, but I don't think I have anything to apologize for."

"Then goodbye, Kyle Broflovski! See you around!" And she was off, too.

Kyle blinked at the door that had just been slammed. Well, that hadn't gone completely as he had hoped, but it was done, at least.

"Oh Kyle, curse your wretched ego and pride!"

Kyle found Ike sitting on the stairs, a smug smile planted on his face. He sighed and stared at his little brother. "How long have you been there?"

"I came down when I heard the door open and close. I thought mom and dad might be home, but I was wondering why because it seemed a little early. So I came to check, and instead I got to see the show!" Ike explained, delighted. "Kyle, you have got to be crazy. You went out with her? First of all, how did you manage to get a girl like that? Second, why wouldn't you get back together? Why would you even break up in the first place?"

"Oh, shut up and go back to your room," Kyle ordered.

"Ooh, touchy, are we? I'm sorry. Well, if you don't want her, can I have her?" Ike asked.

"Oh yeah, because she would be interested in a Canadian nearly half her age. Good luck, Ike."

"OK, I'll go ask her tomorrow!"

"Dude, shut up."

Ike laughed. "Nah, I wouldn't honestly, it's so obvious she liked you. She seems a little psycho though. Like, it's all your pride and ego and all that. You don't have any kind of ego."

"I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice," Kyle laughed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, buddy. You want me to be nice, guy?" Ike joked, putting on an over-exaggerated Canadian accent.

"Ike, go to bed."

"OK, friend. Goodnight, guy!"

Kyle shook his head and went up to his own room to go to bed. So now he wasn't friends with Katie. He would have to tell Kenny what he missed tomorrow. Kyle knew the blonde would be disappointed to have missed such a spectacle. He checked the clock and was disappointed. It was kind of early to be going to bed on a Saturday night. He supposed he could do some homework... How did he go from a sweet Saturday night to a depressing one?

Kyle looked at the clock. It was only 9:30. He opened his chemistry book, and got to work. "Shit."

**Author's Note: **Put off kinda hastily, so if there are any mistakes, just let me know and I'll get right on fixing them! More on the way very soon.


	6. West Side Arcade

Author's Note: So yeah, here's a short little chapter

**Author's Note:** So yeah, here's a short little chapter. Yeah, kinda really short. If you read my last one I think you can figure out what this is gonna be about just by reading the title...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own South Park, I don't own the West Side Arcade, and I don't own Pong. I own nothing, not even the shirt on my back. No really, it's my friend's.

**West Side Arcade**

Well, it was 4:00. Cartman stood next to the Pong machine, and Heidi was nowhere to be seen. Cartman wondered how old this place was. Seriously, Pong? Nobody was playing it, and for two reasons. The first was Cartman. He was kind of intimidating. Besides, nobody played Pong anymore. There were all kinds of fancy and violent video games out now.

The door opened and a female figure walked through the door. Girls didn't generally come to arcades, and West Side Arcade didn't get that many people anyways, so Cartman knew instantly who it was.

"Nice of you to show up."

Heidi laughed. "Yeah, well, something came up. Besides, I expected you to be late, or even skipping it altogether, let alone be _early_!"

"Please, Heidi, give me some credit!" Cartman scoffed. "You speak as if I'm a heartless bastard who doesn't give a rat's ass about people, their feelings and the promises I make with them."

"Um, hello! You are a heartless bastard who doesn't give a rat's ass about people and their feelings. I have to say, though, I'm impressed," Heidi admitted.

"You should have a little more faith," Cartman scolded.

"OK, enough of this, I didn't come here to exchange banter. Well, that's kind of the reason, but... gah, this sounded better and more coherent in my head!"

Cartman gave Heidi a quizzical look. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Cartman, I like you. I'm just gonna put that out there right off the bat. I have no idea what in the name of this prehistoric video game is wrong with me, but I really, really... like you," Heidi paused. "I don't like the things you do, I don't like the way you act, I don't like the way you treat people, but I can't help the way I like you. God damn it. Are you getting any of this?"

"Not a word."

"Fuck. OK. Um... yeah. You're not getting any of it? Not a word? Are you really that dense?"

"Apparently."

"Jesus. Cartman. Eric. I like you. I've always liked you. I probably always will, too. I just, hate that it's you! You're obnoxious, bigoted, racist, anti-Semitic, sexist and a total ass to me. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I want Eric Cartman the bastard. I want Eric Cartman the fat ass pig. I wanna get back together!" Heidi declared.

Cartman just gaped at her. They had never made up like this before. Heidi was practically confessing her undying love for him. Before it was like "Hey, so, wanna go out Friday?" "But we broke up a week ago." "So? Let's get back together!" That was the comfortable, casual way they did it. It was the norm. Cartman liked that way!

Although, in all honesty, he felt practically the same way about her. Never would he acknowledge this out loud. He had no idea how to react.

"What am I supposed to say to that?" Cartman asked right off the bat.

Heidi shook her head. "See, it's shit like that that should infuriate me! If I was normal, if I was one of those regular, bitchy girlfriends, I would bitch about how you should be more caring, and you should automatically know what to say or I wouldn't talk to you. But it's actually shit like that that's the reason I like you. I wouldn't have anyone else. I've tried it, but it didn't work. And I'm probably the only person in the world who would ever say something like this."

Cartman supposed she had something there. But they were fifteen! They weren't supposed to be falling in love and choosing life partners yet. They were in high school.

"Hey, so, wanna catch a movie then?" Cartman asked.

Heidi sighed. "Yeah. Let's go."

She supposed she shouldn't have expected anything more. This was actually pretty good for Cartman. Heidi knew they were still young, but she couldn't help her feelings. She wanted Cartman. And if it didn't last forever, then so what. Right now she wanted back in. Something more did happen today. She always intended it. She only wrote that it _might_ go in this direction because she knew Cartman would never, ever come if he knew it would be like this from the start. Heidi just knew him that well.

They left the dingy arcade, and headed to the theatre. It was a start at least.


	7. Birthday Plans

**Author's Note: **Yay! OC guest stars! I was hoping to get a new chapter up on my other story, but I have decided to put it on hiatus due to a writer's block. But yeah, Lily, Kyle's cousin from my other story, is gonna guest in this chappie.

**Disclaimer:** I wish I thought of South Park first. Then I would own it and I wouldn't have to type out these stupid things.

**Birthday Plans**

School was going fine so far for Kyle. Rekindling his friendship with Kenny was going swimmingly, and relationships with other friends were as good as ever. Things were going well, although Bebe was acting kind of weird. In the classes she had with him, she would sit right next to him, or as close as possible, and wouldn't stop talking to him. It was clear she liked him, but she never asked him out.

Kyle hadn't talked to Katie since their little breakup. She was cold as ice towards him, and even refused to look at him. Kyle wasn't particularly bothered, but he thought she was being ridiculous. She didn't have to be such a bitch about it.

It was already October, and Kyle's fifteenth was fast approaching. He would be celebrating his day of birth on the upcoming Tuesday. He had no idea how or even if he would be celebrating it, and time was running out to figure it out. He had the weekend to come up with something.

"Dude, what the hell am I gonna do on Tuesday?" Kyle asked on Thursday while walking home with Kenny. During the week, they didn't really talk all that much, so they were making it up over the weekend.

The blonde boy simply shrugged as they walked on. "Why are you asking me? What do I know about throwing a kick ass birthday party? Who even has birthday parties anymore? Well, Butters, but that's different."

"People throw birthday parties all the time. We just wouldn't be playing pin the tail on the donkey or something lame like that," Kyle pointed out.

Kenny just shrugged again.

The boys walked up the steps of Kyle's house. Kyle fumbled for a moment while he dug through his bag for his key. Ike would be home at that point, but his parents were out. His paranoid little brother would have all the doors and windows locked while he was home alone. Kyle put his key in the lock, but was surprised to find it already unlocked. The boys exchanged looks and headed in, locking the door behind them.

Kenny followed Kyle up the stairs and towards his room, but Kyle stopped in front of Ike's room. The door was open just a crack. A female voice drifted through out the door, and puzzled Kyle further. Why did Ike have a girl in his room? More importantly, how did he get a girl in his room?

Kyle made to open the door, but Kenny stopped him. "Dude, is it really any of our business? Let's just decide what the hell we're gonna do for your birthday."

"Sure it's my business. Mom and dad aren't home, so I'm in charge. Besides, what if she's hot? We've gotta set her straight. I mean, she's with _Ike_," Kyle whisper- argued.

Kenny considered his friend's words for a moment. "OK, I see your point. We're going in."

Kyle smiled and resumed opening the door. Both boys gasped as they saw Ike sitting on the bed with a girl who looked to be about seventeen or eighteen. It wasn't only her age, but she was, well, hot! But Kyle hardly noticed anything about her looks except her age, and he started on a rant.

"Ike, what the hell? Who is she, and why is she here? She's older than _I_ am for Christ's sake!" He had more planned, but the girl simply giggled, and Ike glared at his brother.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch," the girl laughed. She looked at him straight on and he got a better look at her.

She was pretty short, certainly shorter than tall, gangly Kyle. She was built petite. She had narrow shoulders and hips, with just a little bit of body fat. Her jet black hair hung in stylized layers that framed her striking face. Her nose was small and slightly crooked, her lips soft and pink. Her intense, icy blue eyes sparkled with amusement, and popped against her pale skin... Then it hit him harder than the baseball bat Cartman threw at his head in the fifth grade. (The fat ass had a pretty good arm.)

"Lily!" Kyle cried.

She beamed and stood up. The two embraced, Kyle towering over his cousin. It would be two years since he saw her last, when she came up for his bar mitzvah. She had really matured since then, but he still couldn't believe he didn't recognize her at first.

Lily switched her focus to Kenny, who had been standing idly by during the touching family reunion. A frown creased her forehead briefly. "Hmm, you I don't recognize..."

"I'm Kenny, the forgotten one. I used to wear an orange parka all the time, but I grew out of it and couldn't find, or afford another one. So I guess the world gets to be lucky enough to see my beauty all the time," Kenny responded casually.

"Ha, that's our Kenny, modest as ever," Kyle commented dryly.

"Well, I do what I can," Kenny replied.

Lily turned back to Ike and flashed him a smile. "Kay, well it was nice talking to ya Ike. Not that I don't love you, but I did come here to see Kyle, so I'm gonna split. Peace!" She gave him a hug, shot him a peace sign and sauntered out the door, beckoning Kyle and Kenny to follow. "Cousin, cousin's hot friend, follow. Now," she demanded and headed straight for Kyle's room.

Ike looked at his brother as he and Kenny exchanged puzzled looks. "Why is our family so weird?" Ike asked. "Seriously, I'll never understand Lily. We have strange relatives."

"See ya Ike," Kyle replied as he spotted Lily tapping her foot impatiently in the doorway. "Lily might start spitting fire. You know how dramatic she can get."

"Well, clearly not as well as you do..." Ike muttered.

Kyle chose to ignore that, while Kenny snickered. He didn't know what the Canadian was talking about, but he would weasel the story out of one of them.

When they arrived in Kyle's all too familiar room, Lily was seated on the bed, legs swinging and a smirk playing on her lips. Kyle automatically knew she was up to something, but he didn't know if it was good or bad. One never knew, especially dealing with Lily. He didn't see her very often, and only met her a few times, but whenever he did, she always had something planned, and he always wound up going with it. Last time, she convinced him first to go to his bar mitzvah, and later to skip out and go play video games at the arcade with her. He didn't know how she did it, or why he had agreed to it, but she somehow managed to mess with his head.

Kenny had met her once, the time before the bar mitzvah thingy. That time she didn't really have anything planned, but she still managed to get the four of them, and all her friends, plus Butters on a rescue party search trip to Florida for her. Kenny remembered because they stole his dad's cousin's van.

Kyle was a little worried because the girl had a temper. Fiery hot, it was worse than his own. Of course, as of late Kyle had been particularly mellow, but perhaps that was due to a lack f a certain stimulant named Eric Theodore Cartman... Lily, however, didn't need someone as irritating as Kyle's old nemesis. Her temper was unpredictable, and could flare up with ease. At the moment, she looked content.

"So little cousin, long time no see. Sorry I look like such shit, I _drove_ all the way from Portland," Lily apologized.

Kenny looked her up and down, and scoffed. "Please, shit? You look far from it."

Lily snorted. "Yeah, whatever you say kid. Fucking pervert," she added after catching Kenny eyeing her chest.

"Wait, you drove here?" Kyle interrupted. "I didn't see your car outside."

"Dude, what are you talking about?" Kenny asked. "It was right there when we walked in. It was that red convertible right outside. How could you miss it?"

"Nice car hey? 1965 Mustang," she bragged, beaming with pride. "I inherited it on my sixteenth birthday. That was like, one of the only things I got for my birthday. My dad already had it, so it was free, but he wouldn't stop going on about how hard it was to let go of. He did all kinds of maintenance on it before he gave it to me. But really, the car isn't what I came to talk about. I'm here about your birthday. We need to do something for it, and I'm just the person to do it with!"

"With a car like that, you can take me anywhere you want!" Kenny said.

Lily's blue eyes smiled as she looked the boy up and down, almost appraising him. Kyle on the other hand, glared at Kenny, and rolled his eyes at Lily.

"Lily, nothing extravagant. Please," Kyle pleaded.

She just winked. "Well, it all really depends on your definition of 'extravagance'. It's not like you have a choice anyway. I already ran what I've got planned by your parents, and they said it was fine. You're not getting out of this one. And you're hot friend can come too, it'll be great! If you wanna bring a girlfriend, that's cool too."

Kenny snorted. "Girlfriend, yeah right."

"Wait, what do you have planned? Are we going somewhere?" Kyle asked.

Lily nodded. "I was thinking we'd go into Denver for the weekend, I can even get you out of school tomorrow or Monday. We can get a hotel and find something fun to do! We're good for money, and you can pick something out as your present. You can even pick out what to do."

"Do my parents know you're here?" Kyle asked nervously.

"They don't know I'm here right now, but they knew I was coming. I have their consent to take you out for the weekend, too. There's no way out, little cousin. You're stuck."

Kenny grinned. He liked the way she thought. If Kyle didn't want to go, he'd go himself. Denver sounded like an excellent plan. There were a lot of hot girls in Denver, plus that car was nice. Just think of all the chicks he could pick up in a machine like that! There was nothing wrong with the girls in South Park, there was just a lot more variety in a big city like Denver. And who knew, maybe even Kyle could snag one. The car was nice enough to even save a hopeless case like Kyle.

Lily began to fill them in on her recent activity.

"I graduated last year. Too bad you couldn't come to my Grad, it was kick ass, I got so wasted. My dad was so cool about it, too. He actually gave me the first drink. Champagne is awesome! Anyway, all my friends were taking a year off before college. I wanted to go straight in, but daddy insisted I wait a year with my friends. I had a part-time job all through high school, and me and the guys pitched in on a place in Portland.

"This week I was at my dad's place, and to be honest, I also came here for another more selfish reason. I had to get away from my dad and that complete slut he's dating. I can not believe he's dating again. It's just sick and wrong on so many levels. She's like half his age, closer to being my sister than a possible step-mom. Gruesome. I am so glad to be away from the 'lovebirds'. I have no idea how long this is gonna last, but hopefully not long. The guys suggested we try and break them up, like the good old days, and let me tell you, I'm starting to lean more and more to that idea, no matter how childish it is.

"In all honesty, I'm pretty glad I'm taking this year off. It's just time to hang out with the guys, and prepare for more years of hard schooling to come. It also gives me time to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my life. I did pretty good on the SATs. I didn't get a perfect score, but it was good enough to get me into a good school."

Lily sure talked a lot, but Kyle liked listening to her. He hoped to God she wouldn't ask about what he'd accomplished since last seeing her. He didn't really want to relive the events of freshman year, and he didn't want to think back to eighth grade. She looked about ready to ask him about it, but before she got the chance, a call came from the front door.

"Kyle? Ike? We're home!"

Lily leapt off the bed and bounded down the stairs, the boys following her, though not quite as enthusiastically. She shot Kyle's parents a dazzling smile and held her hands out to help with the groceries they were carrying. "Kyle, help your parents!" she snapped.

Kyle rolled his eyes and grabbed a couple bags. Kenny decided to help to, so he didn't just have to stand around pointlessly. When all the groceries were put away, Lily repeated her story to her aunt and uncle. She added some parts and left out others, but it was essentially the same story.

"Yeah, so Kyle agreed to let me take him into Denver over the weekend. We're gonna leave tomorrow after he gets home from school, spend the night in a hotel, do fun stuff Saturday and Sunday and be home before supper Sunday evening. It's going to be perfect!" Lily explained.

Kyle had not agreed, but apparently he was going to Denver no matter what. Well, it definitely beat hanging around playing video games.

* * *

Stan's birthday was in October as well. It was at the end of the month, so he still had a considerable amount of time to figure out what, if anything he was going to do. (He didn't leave things to the last minute like Kyle.) He was planning on doing something for sure. He was thinking of inviting some football friends and some other friends, and maybe just throwing a huge party.

Stan had already successfully secured yet another girlfriend. Vanessa Stephens had a quick, dry wit, long, thin brown hair and large, round grey eyes. She was short and slightly pudgy, but she was pretty enough. She was far from the ditz Sarah had been, but she wasn't against putting on a bit of makeup and had a slight attraction to shopping. She wasn't a touchy-feely girlfriend, and didn't put up with any kind of shit from Stan. He didn't mind letting her pick a movie, because she would rather see a crap comedy than a mushy romantic comedy. He was thinking of letting Vanessa help him plan the party.

That was where he was headed at the moment. Vanessa didn't really throw parties all that often, but when she did, they were sweet. Stan was looking forward to his fifteenth birthday. Fifteen seemed like a good age.

He walked up the steps and rang the bell. Vanessa opened the door and smiled. "Stan! Prepare to be blown away. I have the best idea for a party! Your birthday is going to be _the_ event!"

**Author's Note: **So yeah, I know nobody likes OC, and the bit at the end was short and random, but deal with it. That's the chapter, and if you don't like it, then let me know in a review (Flames still ignored). If you did like it, let me know in a review. Review make the fanfic world go round!


	8. A Little Bit of Wendy

**Author's Note:** This is the first time I've had a POV change, and I wasn't planning on having any of this story in first person. I just figured that it would be a lot more personal if it was told from Wendy's view. This chappie is sort of a little interlude from the story I guess... I'm not really sure how to describe it. All I know is there is so much to write, and so many people to write about, and I'm having way to much damn fun with this story!

**Disclaimer:** If I could own South Park, I'd be sooo happy...

**A Little Bit of Wendy  
**A brief insight into the mind of South Park's own feminist mini-genius

_Wendy's POV_

_He looked at me with those eyes. Those blue eyes, deep pools, enticing me in... But they were filled with melancholy and regret. I knew this couldn't be good. I didn't want to hear whatever he had to say to me. Whatever it was, it could wait. I just wanted to kiss him. So I did. The vomit had been happening less and less lately, but I got nothing from him at all with that kiss. It made me a little sad._

_With a sigh, I pulled away, and looked at him, my own eyes sprinkled with sorrow. I sense what would happen next, and every fiber of my being wanted this moment to last for eternity, never to end and bring on the inevitable conclusion that was to follow. Before he could say anything, I spoke up._

"_Don't tell me what I don't want to hear," I pleaded softly._

_Stan simply sighed, and I could tell that he didn't want to say it any more that I wanted to hear it. The tragic thing was, we both knew he had to. That's what he came here for. "Wendy, I won't say it, but you know what has to be done. Things just... They're not what they were. I don't want it to end, but it has to. All good things must come to an end."_

_My throat was burning, and I could feel those wretched tears welling up in my eyes. "No, Stan, we can work this out! We've been through so much, what makes this any different?" I fought against the urge to cry. I wasn't one of those girls._

_But he shook his head at me. "I don't think we can work this out. It's nothing to do with you, really. It's the guys. I've been ignoring them, and I can't do that. Besides, you know how much we've been arguing lately, it's unbearable. Don't think of this as a breakup, think of it as a break. Some time away from each other."_

"_No," I breathed. "We can't do that. It's either the end, or it's not. We're not going to be one of those couples who take a break, see other people, and then fall apart forever. We can't stay friends, either. You either end it with me now, or we stick together and work it out."_

"_Then it's over," he confirmed. "Goodbye Wendy. Maybe we can do this again sometime." And with that, he turned to leave._

"_Oh Stan, you know we can't" I called after him. And then I lost it. The tears filled my eyes, and finally brimmed over. They rolled down my cheeks, one by one, and a sob escaped my lips. I couldn't believe this. It had been the end once. I thought it was over for good then. Now it was the end twice, and I knew it was over._

* * *

What was wrong with Stan? I hated each new girlfriend of his more than the last. Last year, there was Brandi Moeller, Suze Shepard, Jill Lema, Karen Brown and Sarah Porter. Miraculously, him and that Porter chick stuck it out through the summer, but broke up not too long ago, and it was exceedingly public, too. Those were just his high school girlfriends. After our breakup, in eighth grade, he went through about a girlfriend a week. After a couple months of that, it slowed down a bit, but he just couldn't hold one down.

I know all of this because I was that jealous ex-girlfriend. It wasn't like I was crazy and followed them on dates, called him every night, and kept a secret shrine to Stan. I didn't flip out every time he got a new girlfriend, but I did, almost subconsciously keep tabs on his girlfriends, and I noticed a trend: They were all girls I hated. I wasn't sure what I had against them exactly; they were just people that rubbed me in the wrong way.

I had been thinking about Stan more and more lately. I had, long ago, convinced myself that I was over him, and that he wouldn't cross my thoughts, but that seemed to be increasingly inaccurate. What was wrong with me? _Did I miss Stan?_ I couldn't really tell. _Did I regret the breakup?_ Yeah, a little bit. It was just something that was so natural between us, although little kid relationships hardly ever live out. _Did I love Stan?_ Well...

They say it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I think _"They"_ are fools. Logically, why would one subject themselves to the pain of love? Isn't that one form of pain and suffering one can do without? Of course, most people would want to experience love at least once in their lives before they die a lonely, painful death. I myself would prefer not to squander my life dealing with petty relationships. My brains could be used for much more practical uses.

And yet...

I couldn't help but feel a little saddened by my current single status. It's not like I didn't ever have a boyfriend besides Stan. There was Token during our brief breakup in fourth grade, that time I went out with Clyde last year and my summer fling, Dan Newport. I was experienced enough. I shouldn't feel that bad about being single, Bebe was too.

Don't get me wrong, I love Bebe with all my heart, but I could say a thing or two (or fifty) about that girl. For one, she was something of a ditz. Well, a little more than that. She wasn't always this bad as far as ditziness went, but as we got older, her head became increasingly airier. And then there was the whole Kyle thing...

Four years ago, we were playing truth or dare at a sleepover. It was my turn to ask someone, and I chose Bebe. I had to get her back for daring me to prank call Cartman, which was a complete disaster. Unfortunately, she chose truth, which brought on an onslaught of giggles from my peers.

"Bebe, do you like Kyle?" I had asked.

She gave me a defiant and vehement look. "Of course not! Wendy, what is your problem? Why would I like Kyle? How can you even say that?"

And now, se won't shut up about him. She is so contradictory. I'm the one who has to deal with it, too. She doesn't talk about him to anyone else but me. So I basically bear the load all by myself. The thing is, Kyle has a reputation as something of a geek. Yeah, he's nice enough, he's cool enough, but he's not really someone Bebe talks about openly. Despite all that though, apparently his ass redeems him completely.

_Bebe sat in my basement, feet propped up on my coffee table, painting her toenails a bright pink. Stan sat on the floor, pulling a face at the nail polish fumes. Red was in the corner, braiding Heidi's hair. And me? I was just happy in the presence of my best friend and my boyfriend._

_I was glad to have them both, but there was something that had been eating me for the last little while. I was so happy here with my companions here with me, but I noticed a distinct lack of boys. How was it fair that I got to keep my friends, but Stan had to choose me over his? I wouldn't mind sharing his time with his friends. I liked hanging around with them. My friends like them too. I knew for a fact that Bebe had, at one point admired Kyle's ass, although she denied it now, Heidi had this strange thing for Cartman, and well, everyone liked Kenny. Stan was actually the one who had the problem sharing his time with them. He was a little possessive over me._

_I was concerned though. I had heard rumors about tensions within their group. I figured that Stan could spend some time with his friends, maybe be the middle man, like he often was, and help sort things out. He heard nothing of it though, and didn't listen to me at all._

"_Stan, why are you here exactly?" Red asked from the corner. "I mean, don't get me wrong, nothing against you, but we're having girls' time, shouldn't you be off having some boys' time?"_

_Stan raised an eyebrow. "Red, why is it any of your business? Just shut up and braid Heidi's hair." His tone was joking enough, but there was a hint of bitterness in it._

_I sighed as my friends exchanged banter. "Stan, I think she has a point. You should invite Kyle, Cartman and Kenny over. If not, at least Kyle. He's your best friend, and you haven't talked to him in ages. He probably misses you, and I bet you miss him too."_

"_Wendy, can we just drop this already?" Stan asked, a little irritably. _

_I gave him a withering look. But exasperation quickly evaporated, transforming into frustration. "Stan, what is this exactly? Is this some kind of egotistical boy thing? Is it a pride thing? It doesn't impress anyone. Are you trying to prove something? What in the hell are you trying to do? Whatever it is, stop it because I'm fucking sick of it!" _

_There was a ringing silence as I yelled my last sentence. I wasn't much of a curser, but when I got worked up, a few swears weren't beneath me. Red stopped braiding Heidi's hair for a moment and both stared at me. Bebe paused briefly, but continued casually painting her nails. Stan however stared at me blankly._

"_Wendy, chill. I just don't feel like seeing the guys right now. If it makes you feel better, I'll give Kyle a call tonight."_

_I sighed, a little bit out of relief, a little out of exasperation. "OK Stan." I did feel a little better. _

* * *

He never did call Kyle. I found this out a couple days later, and we had a huge fight. It was extremely unpleasant. I never found out why he was being such a dick to his friends. Things started to fall apart between us at that point too.

Bebe once said we were over before we started, and I suppose we did have something of a doomed relationship. Any elementary relationship generally doesn't last more than a couple weeks. It was a miracle that we lasted as long as we did in the first place. After we got back together, we were a little older, and it had a little more hope. The only thing was, neither of us really knew where our relationship was going.

Clearly it was headed for the worst. But I couldn't help but think back to the happy days.

_It was a peaceful night at Stark's Pond; the cool mountain air was still, the sky clear, and millions of stars dotting the tapestry that was strewn out above us, stretching on into infinity. As we lay there in silence, everything seemed perfect._

_The transition from fourth grade into fifth had been a smooth one, aided greatly by our reconciliation. I was glad we were back together. When I ended it with him last time, I was in a different place. I just didn't want to have a boyfriend. I needed a little "me" time. Granted, that "me" time didn't last very long, seeing as I asked Token out days later, but I just couldn't be Stan's girlfriend. Now, everything seemed right. Like some kind of planetary alignment thing that made everything seem at peace._

_Of course I knew that was just bullshit, but it was a nice thought anyway._

_Stan looked at me and smiled serenely. He seemed genuinely happy to be here with me. I smiled back, our eyes locking. Time seemed to freeze, and we couldn't look away. It was moments like these that made me love Stan's sensitivity, but would get him beat up at school. We moved closer, slowly, inch by inch and..._

_CRACK!_

_We snapped out of our joint reverie and whipped our heads around. A snapping sound came from the forest. There was somebody in there, and they were stepping on twigs. "Hello?" Stan called, and I held him. Chances were, it was nothing to be worried about, but I did it anyway. It felt nice to be near him._

"_Oh, nice going! You got us caught, I told you he would get us caught!"_

"_Well, fuck I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you! It's not my fault there's fucking twigs all over the forest."_

_The voices sounded familiar, and Stan rolled his eyes. "Guys, come out."_

"_Jesus Christ Cartman."_

_Four boys piled out of the forest, and walked towards us. Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny, accompanied by Butters had been lurking in the bushes, spying on us. It was a little creepy, but not beyond them. I should have known._

_Stan looked playfully pissed with his friends. "Guys, what is wrong with you? Can't you see I'm trying to have a private moment with my girlfriend?"_

_It was Cartman's turn to roll his eyes. "Well obviously, dumb ass. We were trying to see! That's the point."_

"_Um, why?" I asked._

"_Because we were bored and had nothing to do. Terrance and Phillip was a rerun tonight, we couldn't agree on a game, and Gamesphere is at Stan's house. All Butters has is some lame-ass flowery crap," Kyle replied casually. "Well, now that we're here, wanna go to the arcade or play Gamesphere or something?"_

_Stan looked at me uncertainly, and I nodded at him. There was no way I would ever be one of those girlfriends who takes up all of their boyfriend's time. I wasn't going to be clingy. Besides, his friends were there first. He couldn't just constantly flake on his friends._

Those were the good days...

**Author's Note: **A little history of this chapter. It was originally supposed to be released after the chapter that was released before it, you know, like it actually is being released. But it was almost released before the last chapter. I had a bit of a writer's block on the last one, but then I was inspired and found it easier to finish than this one. I had a writer's block on this one. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. It wasn't the greatest chapter in the world, kinda really fluffy, but I just felt like doing a little Stendy thing. And if you've taken the time to read this far, take another 30 seconds to review... I'll give you a cookie!


	9. Mall Rats and Girl Chat

**Author's Note:** So originally I was going to release a whole chapter dedicated to the weekend in Denver, but gave up on it. If I get the demand for it, I'll finish it and release it as a separate entity, but for now you'll just have to put up with the condensed version within this chapter. It took some thought, but I think it'll be pretty sweet.

**Disclaimer:** (sigh) Do I really have to do this? I think we all know by now that I, in no way, own South Park.

**Mall Rats and Girl Chat**

Kenny had been thrilled to be included in Kyle's birthday plans. Even though he put on a façade of scorn towards the whole birthday party thing, but he was always secretly thrilled every time he was invited to one. His own birthday parties were never glamorous, his family only being able to afford either a cake or decorations. He hated having to choose, but usually he just alternated. His friends would often complain and rip on him for it, and although it wasn't anything Kenny wasn't used to, he still didn't like it.

The weekend had actually been pretty sweet. They left almost as soon as they got home after school on Friday. They stayed in a swanky hotel downtown, simply spending Friday evening there, lounging by the pool and getting settled. Lily proved to be eccentric and casual around the guys. Before they went to bed, she walked around in only a pair of hot pink booty shorts and a black lacy bra without thinking twice about it. Kyle told her to put some clothes on, being a little uncomfortable around a half-naked girl who happened to be his cousin. Kenny and Lily were indignant over Kyle's request. Lily reminded him who was paying for the trip, and Kenny was shocked that his new/old best friend would make such an offending and appalling request. Kyle just rolled his eyes and spoke no more of it.

Kyle wasn't fifteen yet though. It was only Monday, the day before his birthday. Lily was staying for a few more days, so she would be there for his actual birthday too. Kenny was tempted to head over to Kyle's house and hang out with him and his cousin, but his own friends invited him over, since they didn't see him all weekend.

With her cousin hanging out with his friends, Lily took the time she had to explore South Park. Having to wake up early over the weekend in order to get in the optimum amount of weekend birthday fun, she took Monday as another sleep-in day, and slept until 2:30 in the afternoon. She stayed up late watching TV after they got home on Sunday. She had been tempted to take her fake ID out for a spin, but decided against it. She would do that tonight...

On the fake ID note, Lily had greatly considered getting her little cousin and his friend drunk in Denver, but decided against it. She had some morals. Lily would get herself liquor illegally, but she wouldn't get liquor illegally, and then supply it to her way underage cousin. She had no doubt the blonde one had been wasted a few times, but Kyle was another story. Maybe next year... They could always go somewhere the legal drinking age was eighteen so she could supply her cousin with legally acquired booze.

There wasn't much to do in South Park really, but Lily managed to entertain herself. She received some strange looks at the arcade. A seventeen year old girl at the arcade? She must be insane! Eventually she wound up at the mall. Lily could always harass some high school students who used it as their after school hangout. Maybe she could even meet some of Kyle's classmates...

* * *

Wendy was in kind of a strange place on Monday morning. On Friday, she had actually been asked out by two different guys, but she had turned them both down. What the hell had she been thinking? What was wrong with her? Bebe had given her an earful after this, but it wasn't long before she just shut off her phone and gave up on her friend.

Wendy had mostly spent the weekend shut up in her room. She wasn't really in the mood for human contact. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. When she arrived at school, she was still in no mood to deal with people, but that wasn't an option. Bebe raved at her at light speed, haranguing her for having her phone shut off, and warning that shutting off contact with the outside world was very dangerous indeed.

Before class, while they waited for the teacher to begin, Bebe was still going. "What has gotten into you? Really?! You were fine up until a couple weeks ago. You've successfully managed to go from a strong, independent young woman to a robot. I haven't seen you this bad since-"

"Don't say it!" Wendy hissed, cutting her friend off.

Bebe just beamed. "Well, we managed to get some emotion out of you, that's a good start." Her expression shifted from overexcited teen to caring best friend/shrink, tone of voice adjusting accordingly. "Look, sweetie, whatever's going on inside that oversized brain of yours is obviously tough for you, and you can't bottle that up. Talk to me, Wendy, please. Tell me what's going on." Bebe paused briefly before continuing, volume set down to barely more than a whisper. "Is this something to do with last year?"

Wendy hesitated. Freshman year had been difficult for everyone. Some people had specific issues, for others it was just adjusting to the high school routine. Wendy had had it pretty good for a while; it was just around the last month that things got a little intense. It was during that time she had her first real encounter with Stan since their breakup. Well, technically they tried to stay friends for a while, but it didn't work so well.

Before Wendy had the opportunity to answer, Miss Hardwick began her lesson. An attractive and young teacher, she had gained the nickname "Miss Hard-on" from the madly hormonal boys fortunate enough to have a class with her.

Mere seconds after the teacher began, a note appeared before Wendy, obviously from Bebe. It simply read _Well??_

Wendy could almost hear the urgency jumping off the note. She considered it for a moment before she scribbled back. _I really don't know. I thought I could handle this, and I was fine all summer. Just something about seeing him again, and being back at school. Just, I donno, it's a lot to handle._

Bebe looked over the reply, and shot her friend a sympathetic look. She began to jot down a reply, but was cut off by a question from the teacher directed at her. Bebe blinked blankly at Miss Hardwick, and winged it. "Forty seven?"

The teacher smirked good-naturedly and chuckled lightly, the rest of the class laughing right along with her. "Why yes Bebe, the main subject of the sentence on the board is forty seven. Now, actually read it, and tell me what the main subject is."

"Um, Lucy?"

"Good job Bebe!"

Bebe was so proud of herself, she forgot all about Wendy's crisis and neglected the note she had yet to finish. Wendy sighed and fought her way through the rest of English.

The rest of her day was spent in a daze, as Wendy just tried to stay awake until the 3:20 bell. Last block of the day was physics. Normally it was the best way for her to end the day, but today was another story. Last block couldn't have gone fast enough.

Wendy spent most of the block with her head in her hand, staring off into space. She had no Bebe to distract her during this class. It was just her and the science. And it was boring as hell.

_What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop thinking about Stan? I'm over him already! I shouldn't be dwelling on this. It's ridiculous is what it is. But we were so happy together. It really was a nice time..._

"...Time can't be a vector though. We all know this because a vector has a direction, and time only has one: forward. The difference between velocity and speed is a direction. It can go East, West, North South, Up, Down, Right or Left, any of these following the units makes it a vector. Velocity is a vector, speed is a scalar. It can be determined by a distance. Time however, is always a scalar value. It can go forward and forward only. Remember this."

Wendy sat up sharply. Her teacher was right. She had to go forward. She couldn't keep living in the past. It was time to move on. She thought she had been doing that all along, but there had always been a subconscious longing for Stan. Wendy couldn't do that anymore. She had to get over it and move on. Time couldn't go back, only forward.

For the rest of the class, Wendy paid close attention, in case the teacher said anything else that had very close relation to her own life. Unfortunately, nothing came up, but she was back on track at any rate.

The bell rang, and almost simultaneously her phone buzzed. It was Bebe of course. _Mall?_ was all the text read. Wendy sighed and replied. _Sure._ She had barely stuffed her phone back in her bag when it buzzed again. _Meet you at your locker. _Bebe texted faster than anyone else she knew. It was really quite a sight to see; her thumb was practically a blur as it went.

Feeling substantially cheerier, the two best friends practically skipped to South Park mall. The mall wasn't particularly brilliant, but it was all they had, and it was good enough. Where else were the teenagers of South Park High supposed to loiter? Bebe and Wendy wandered, browsing a few stores. They decided to go to the food court, seeing a few people from school on the way.

"See? This is the Wendy I was talking about! The happy, 'I won't let a man get me down!' Wendy! Where has she been hiding? Whatever, I actually don't give a crap, I'm just glad she's made a triumphant return. No, really, what happened? Where did she come from? No, no ignore that. It's cool, as long as I have my real best friend back, not that boring old mopey one." Bebe squealed in response to Happy Wendy.

Wendy smiled. In all honestly, she was glad to be back.

Meanwhile, on the second level, Lily was bored to tears. She wandered through South Park Mall looking for something to do. She shopped a bit, but shopping alone was no fun, plus she wasn't particularly into shopping. Eventually she gave up and made her way down to the food court. She was in the mood for something greasy, fattening, and disgusting beyond compare.

Armed with a Supersize Big Mac meal, she needed to find somewhere to sit. She scanned the tables and groaned. They were almost all full, and the ones that weren't were covered with crap. Her eyes fell on a table with two girls who looked about her cousin's age seated together. Lily smiled and made a beeline for the two girls, who happened to be the heroines of our story. She flounced towards them, as well as one could flounce carrying a tray of food. Slipping into a chair at the table, Lily beamed at them and introduced herself. "Hi! I'm Lily." It vaguely occurred to her how strange these girls would think her, but she didn't think much of it.

She got a bright smile from Bebe, and a strange look from Wendy. Bebe didn't think twice about a strange girl joining them, but Wendy was a little concerned. She had always a little apprehensive around strangers. Bebe returned the introduction. "Hey! I'm Bebe, and this is Wendy."

"Nice to meet you," Lily replied warmly, popping a fry in her mouth.

Wendy examined Lily, looking her up and down. "Are you from South Park?" she asked. "I don't think I've seen you around here before."

Lily shook her head, shoving a couple more fries in her mouth. "Nah, I'm from Oregon. I'm just in town visiting my cousin for his birthday." She meant to ask if the girls knew Kyle, but it slipped her mind as the fries called to her and she stuffed a handful into her mouth.

"Oh, sweet."

"So what grade are you guys in?" Lily asked as her pile of fries dwindled at an alarmingly increasing rate. "What happened to all my fries?" she asked herself softly, plucking a couple more fries from her tray.

"We're sophomores!" Bebe replied cheerily. "So glad freshman year is over, that was kinda hellish. So far this year is proving to be _fantastic!_ Well, there's more homework, but that hardly counts. It's still sweet ass though."

Wendy sighed. "Yeah, it's OK." A slight frown creased her forehead. She found the completely random stranger joining them was a little odd, but it wasn't particularly unexpected. Growing up in South Park, one learned to expect the unexpected.

"I graduated last year. I'm so glad High School is over with. Sure, it's great, but it's just so complicated and hard to handle. How in the hell is one person supposed to juggle a social life, homework and grades, extracurricular activities and their family all while dealing with raging hormones? High school students aren't given enough credit," Lily stated.

"You graduated?" Bebe squealed. "So you're a college student? Wendy, we're hanging out with a college student!"

Lily shook her head. "Nah, I wanted to start college this year, but my dad insisted that he wouldn't pay for it unless I took a year off. So instead, at the moment I'm sharing a place in Portland with a few guys I've known since forever."

"Even better!"

Wendy agreed with what Lily said about high school. In order for one to do all that without going insane took a lot of skill. People always went on about how irresponsible and reckless and horrible teenagers were, but they didn't realize all the pressure that was on them. They had to keep up their grades, deal with their peers, and figure out what to do with their lives at this point, and it was a lot to handle. She contemplated this while Bebe chattered about her own social life, Lily politely nodding and commenting in the right places. Wendy had to admit she was impressed. Not many people could handle Bebe this well.

It wasn't long before Lily found she didn't have a single fry left, and pouted. Exhaling sharply, she looked up at the two best friends. "Let's go do something. What is there to do here? I'm bored out of my freaking mind."

"Yeah, welcome to South Park," Wendy said wryly. "Well, there's always Stark's Pond. We could go skating or something."

"Or shopping!" Bebe interjected. "Or we could see a movie. Or you could tell us about Portland. Or your cousin! Is he cute? Or is it a she? Do we know him... or her? What's your family like? Have you always lived in Portland? How do you like South Park? Too cold? Not cold enough? Too many mountains? Not enough mountains? Do you have a boyfriend? Or are you a les-"

Wendy cut Bebe off. "Bebe shut up and give the girl a chance to talk. Don't ambush her with questions" To Lily she said "Sorry 'bout that. Bebe can be a little... much at times. Why don't we go for a walk and you can get to work answering those questions if you want. I'd personally like to know who your cousin is."

"Certainly!" Lily agreed.

The three girls dumped their garbage and started off at a casual pace, roaming the mall. They stood side by side, Lily shorter than both Wendy and Bebe.

"Well, my cousin's my dad's bother's kid. His name's Kyle. I took him and some blonde kid to Denver for the weekend because Kyle's birthday's tomorrow. I'm here for a couple more days."

"Kyle who?" Bebe asked hopefully. "There are a lot of Kyles."

"Broflovski," Lily said, and Bebe squealed. Lily shot a look of amusement at her.

"Really? Oh my God!" Bebe's interest in the raven haired Oregonian had officially peaked. "And I thought you were cool before, now I find out that you're related to South Park's official hottest Jew!"

Wendy rolled her eyes. South Park didn't exactly have that many Jews wandering around, but she didn't say anything. Bebe wouldn't listen.

"That's right, it's his birthday tomorrow! I have to get him something. Maybe you can help me pick something out, I'm really stuck. Seriously, I've been wondering what to get him, and I don't wanna ask him, because I've gotta be discreet about it. I can't just walk up to him and ask, he'd figure me out. You know, him and Wendy are like the smartest kids in school. In the whole town, maybe. But yeah, let's go shopping!"

Wendy had no interest in birthday shopping. Maybe she would make Kyle a card or something, just to be polite. He did give her a pair of earrings for her birthday last year. She and Kyle had an interesting relationship. When she was going out with Stan, she got to know his friends pretty well, and she and Kyle had been pretty close. After the breakup though, the two grew apart. They talked a bit online or texted each other, or even said the casual hello in the hallways, but they were nowhere near as close as they once were.

Resolving to let Bebe and Lily work together to find something for Kyle, Wendy politely said goodbye, and headed home. She felt a little bad leaving Lily alone with Bebe, but she figured she could manage.

Today had been an interesting day for Wendy. She had a slight breakdown, put herself back together, and met a new person in less than twelve hours. It was certainly eventful, to say the least. She wasn't sure if it had been a bad day, or a god day, but it was certainly a productive day.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yeah, not the greatest chapter ever, but it was more filler than anything. I donno why, I just had to have a chapter with lily at the mall. And for those of you who don't like her so much, don't worry, she won't be around in this story for much longer. I've also noticed an extreme lack of Cartman, which is disappointing even me! Don't worry, possibly the next chapter or the one after that will feature him. Reviews make the updates go faster (trust me) even though this story is being pushed aside slightly. I'm working on other stuff. OK, long AN, I won't bore you to death.


	10. Rock Stars, All Stars, Porn Stars

**Author's Note:**Alright, so it's a chapter that focuses on multiple characters! Yay! Sorry about the long wait, I've been busy and uninspired. Nrrgh.

**Disclaimer:** I only wish...

**Rock Stars, All Stars, Porn Stars**

Kyle walked up the walk to his house. Lily's car was in the driveway, which was a surprise. He expected her to be out all night, partying or drinking or some such thing. The night was still young though...

As he got closer, an awful wailing wafted through the window and attacked his ears. What was going on? Honestly, he couldn't leave the house without it going to hell. Kyle crossed the threshold and shook his head at the sight before him.

Three people were in his living room playing Rock Band. His brother strummed his way through the guitar part, a curly haired blonde with no sense of rhythm banged away at the drums, and another blonde with very fake looking hair moaned into the mike and pranced around, "dancing". He recognized the drummer as Bebe, and the singer as Lily in a cheap wig. The song ended and, catching sight of Kyle, Lily grinned widely.

"Look Kyle, I'm Hannah Montana!"

"Oh yeah, I can totally see the resemblance!" Kyle agreed, nodding his head vigorously. "With your black hair sticking out and the manic expression, you totally look like Hannah Montana. You know, if she was on crack."

"Ha! Well yeah, I guess. Welcome home little cousin! Don't I just sing like an angel? Isn't it the most fantabulistic thing you've ever heard?" Lily giggled hysterically and motioned for Kyle to join them. "Here, take the other guitar. Ike's pretty good at bass. Bebe can sing without causing ears to bleed, and I am a proness drummer, so maybe we can _actually_ get some kind of decent song in here."

Bebe smiled as Kyle took the other guitar from her. "Hey Kyle. You're cousin is so cool, I met her at the mall today. We went shopping and I got you a present. You know, for your birthday. Which is tomorrow. So Happy Birthday, I suppose!"

"Thanks, I guess."

"OK, let's get rocking!"

* * *

It was a rare moment for Eric Theodore Cartman. He actually felt bad for someone. He felt a little guilty for leaving Heidi to deal with Butters. It was only for a few minutes, but he couldn't do that to his girlfriend. He could do it to Kyle, or Craig, the asshole, or some other such person, but he really couldn't believe he was leaving his girlfriend to the mercy of one of the world's most annoying people. Cartman may have been evil, but nobody should have to be left to deal with Butters against their will.

But that was exactly what he was doing.

Really, it all started on Monday that week. After getting back together with her, Cartman had been hanging out with Heidi as much as he could, and even managed to do it without Butters hanging around a couple of times. Although when they met at WS Arcade Heidi had been pretty serious about their reconciliation and her feelings, it had been fairly casual for the two of them. Passing notes in class, getting lunch together, and chilling at the mall or one of their houses... They were taking things easy.

So when Heidi came up to Cartman and asked about getting together on Friday, he thought she just meant they were doing what they always did. Maybe play a little Guitar Hero, have some snacks, watch a movie, stuff like that. That was NOT the plan. Far from it in fact. Heidi had something a little nicer planned. She wanted to get a little more serious. Secretly, that was what Cartman wanted; he just didn't think he could do it.

On Tuesday, the day he knew was Kyle's birthday (hey, he kept track of that kind of thing, just in case. You never knew when it would come in handy. He actually wanted to get his good ex-friend a "present"...), he had learned the true nature of the date they had set up. Heidi had come up to him, wondering if he wanted to go shopping.

"Why the hell would I want to do that?" he asked, indignantly.

"Well, for Friday. I thought we could get you a nice outfit," she explained. "You don't want to look like an idiot at the restaurant. Everyone else will be dressed up and nice, with their boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever, and I'll be there, all dressed up, with a slob in a T-shirt and jeans. We can't have that!"

"What?!" Cartman yelped. "So, wait, hang on, what- who- where- umm, where are we going exactly?" he managed to stutter.

"That new restaurant they opened up last month, George's. I went there with my dad on my weekend with him and it was actually really nice. I've been saving up and I've finally got enough to go there. Dinner will be on me, of course, but you can at least look nice."

This had come as a major shock to him. They were taking their relationship to the next level, and the results were sure to be disastrous. They had gone shopping that night, and picked out a nice, semi-formal outfit for Cartman. He had spent the next day in shock, and on Thursday, he made the fatal mistake.

"Well gee Eric, I sure bet you're super excited about tomorrow! I wish I could go to George's, but I'm g-grounded."

A grin spread across Cartman's face. "Well, Butters, do you want to come along? You can if you want."

"Well didn't you hear me Eric?" Butters asked. "I'm grounded!"

"Whatever! Just sneak out."

So Butters was accompanying them on their romantic date, and that's when we get to the abandonment.

"Hey Cartman!" Heidi greeted happily, giving him a hug. "Damn, you clean up good!" Then she spotted their company. "Umm, what's he doing here?"

Butters waved nervously, and Cartman looked back. "Oh, ha, he had nothing better to do, and I can't say no to him. Just look at his face."

Heidi looked at him and made a face. "Fine. He's paying for his own food though," she agreed, irritated.

The maitre d' led them to their seat, giving them a funny look. "Will you be needing any, er, kids' menus?" he asked in a slight French accent, looking at Butters.

Butters actually considered this, but Cartman interrupted. "No, not at all, thanks."

They sat down and Heidi giggled. "Thanks? Wow Cartman, I don't think I've actually heard that, or any type of variation of 'thank you' EVER come out of your mouth."

"Ha, yeah Eric," Butters added.

The smiled disappeared from Heidi's face the second Butters opened my mouth. She crossed her arms and slouched a bit. Things went fine for a little while, Heidi pouting the whole time, but otherwise fine. They got past the drinks, and they ordered, but Cartman had to slip off before the food arrived.

Butters had started talking non-stop, Heidi had become even sourer, and Cartman tried to make peace, but failed miserably. He couldn't stand it anymore, so he excused himself, going to the bathroom. He slipped out and left his girlfriend, and the person who was sadly his best friend alone together.

He would be hearing about it on Monday...

* * *

Kenny knew how gay it sounded, but whenever he got close to someone, he felt a sort of connection with them. Like, he could tell if they were getting lucky (in whatever way...) or if they were upset, or if they were pissed off, usually at him. It didn't exactly happen often that he got that close to someone, but when he did, gay as it was, he was really close and connected.

It was kind of an odd friendship, this one with Kyle. The two had never been all that close, but Kenny still found that Kyle was the nicest to him. It was strange. Now, their friendship was a little awkward, a little strained, but Kenny could feel that closeness. Like now for instance. He was sure that somewhere, Kyle was flirting with someone. Someone... blonde? Well, it was obvious that Bebe liked him; maybe she was finally making a move.

Kyle had invited him over, but he declined. Kenny figured he had imposed his presence enough, and decided to let his new best friend sort of have some time to himself. Kyle was going to be fifteen tomorrow.

So, rather than being at the Broflovskis playing Rock Band, Kenny trudged up the steps of his crapshack house. Same shit house. The walls were crumbling. Same shit parents. They were bitching to each other at the top of their lungs. Same shit siblings. Kevin and Kelly were fighting over the leftover Pop-tart. Same shit... shit. His TV was older than the invention of the TV, the posters of hot chicks in his room were far less explicit than he remembered, and his fridge kept things warmer rather than colder.

With a sigh, he plopped down on his floor and opened one of his nudey magazines. Fortunately this was shiny and new, unlike everything else he owned. People looked down on him because he was, well, a pervert. But honestly, when you grew up in the kind of environment Kenny did, you had to find solace somehow, and for the blonde, that was girls. Sexy, big-chested, but best of all, naked girls. In magazines. Or on movies. Or in real life if he was really lucky.

Usually he wasn't.

* * *

Stan was already sick to death of Vanessa. Perhaps it was a huge mistake, seeing as she was planning his birthday party, he had already broken up with her. She was furious, of course, but at this point, Stan just didn't care anymore.

He figured, screw the big birthday bash, he would just invite a few close friends, some of the guys on the football team. People like that.

The main thing was that, once again, he was single. It seemed the ladis didn't learn, though, and more were already after him. But at least Stan was learning. Sort of. He had turned the majority of them down. Some he said he'd let them know when he was available. He didn't plan on replying, so it was still better.

At this point, Stan was feeling sorry for himself. Oh, yes, he was absolutely a poor old thing. Football jock, plenty of friends and popular with the ladies... The sad thing was, he was feeling pretty hollow. Like the general hollowness that comes with that kind of popularity. He was just one of those who were smart and sensitive enough to realize it. Sometimes he thought he was a pussy because of it, but he really was just sensitive. How many people could say that? Did that make him a pussy? Well, yeah, kind of...

Stan sighed and bounced his mini basketball off the wall. He lay on his bed, feeling sorry for himself. Unfortunately, he had forgotten that his sister's room was on the other side of the wall he was bouncing the ball off. Inevitably:

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, turd?!" Shelly stormed in, furious. "I'm on the fucking phone! Fuck the hell off!" She stormed back out, and resumed her conversation. Stan swore he heard her say something like: "Oh, yeah, sorry, that was just my little shitface brother. Don't mind him."

Love you too, Shelly.

He didn't think it was possible, but Shelly seemed to have gotten bitchier. She should have graduated last year, but in Eighth grade, she and her friends got held back for skipping. They missed over half the year and were allowed to take the exams, but because they missed so much they failed miserably. From then on they only missed school for sick days and appointments. And the odd time, on the really exceptional occasions to get high.

Stan had been high a few times. Once or twice with his sister, and a few times with the team. Plus there was that joint back in fourth grade they didn't actually smoke... It wasn't like he was a pothead or anything, he had just experimented.

It was just then he started missing Kyle. (He also found it odd that thinking about pot reminded him of his former best friend. Huh.) He knew Kyle had a cousin Shelley's age, probably a hell of a lot less bitchy. Stan missed the old group. He saw Kenny hanging around with his former bestie. This gave Stan a glimmer of hope. Maybe that meant that there was hope for the group yet. Cartman... Well, they'd hve to see. But they friendship between Kyle and Kenny seemed the most natural. They had been the two remaining in the original disintegration of the group. Everyone else... would be a little difficult. Stan knew he screwed it up. He screwed up bad. Before the end of the year, well, maybe some kind of get back together could be arranged. It was only October.

Ugh. It was _only_ October...

* * *

As the evening went on, Lily's drumming slowly broke down, and got increasingly worse, Bebe's voice started to crack, Kyle's fingers were cramping up and Ike had abandoned the older kids long ago. The truth was, Lily had plenty of stamina, and could have drummed all night, except that she had been taking sips out of a (number of) brown bag(s), ever so discreetly, and although it was plenty more fun for her, the failing was getting annoying. The blonde wig just barely perched on her head, black hair underneath, as askew as the wig. Eventually they turned off the game system, and Lily insisted on watching a comedian on TV, who she laughed hysterically at. When that ended, she had to watch the next guy go on, and halfway through, the laughter died down.

She was passed out on the couch.

Bebe looked at her a little sceptically. Kyle picked up his cousin's large purse, which clinked as it moved, and put it at the foot of the couch. The two tidied up a little, and then decided to try and move Lily.

"OK, she's short and thin. You take the feet, I'll take her arms, and we'll move her, slowly, up the stairs to my room," Kyle intructed. Bebe nodded. "Alright, on the count of three." They took their respective positions and grabbed. "One... two... three!" They lifted, but Lily didn't budge. "Shit, how can someone that small be so difficult to move?"

Bebe chuckled. "Well, she's drunk and passed out. Because she's limp she's harder to move. Plus it looks like she's pretty comfortable here. Wanna try again or just abandon her?"

Kyle looked at the clock. It was already past 10:00. They had school tomorrow, and it was his birthday. He was pretty tired. Besides, she could pay him back tomorrow with her raging hangover.

Kyle looked at Bebe. "Erm, well... Now that Lily's successfully taken over the couch do you wanna..." Was he gonna say go home? What? HE would feel bad kicking her out. "Why don't we just hang out for a while? Just a bit, it's getting kinda late, but-"

Bebe cut him off. "Sure!"

Somewhere, in the ghetto, Kenny gave Kyle a thumbs up.

(Even though she couldn't see it.)

(It was a mental thumbs up.)

(Use your IMAGINATION people!)

* * *

**Author's Note:**OK, so I KNOW that was a long wait, but really, reviews make it go faster. And I've been UBER majorly busy.


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